The Sounds of Cambodia

I think I'm going to start simply listing and describing a whole bunch of the things we see, hear, feel, taste and smell here in Cambodia. To try and give you a 'sense' of what it's like. Today, I will focus on sound, and am simply listing all the things I can hear right now, at home in our 'quiet' little neighbourhood...

• Angle grinders. Angle grinders everywhere, grinding metal. It's the worst sound of all.
• The ding-a-ling of the little bell of the man pulling his eski icecream cart
• Dogs barking. Always. 
• Street kids playing and yelling in Khmer. Mostly young boys. Something about a 'tomato'?
• Motos; little 50cc's putt-putting like they're half drowned, or 125cc's and bigger, revving and roaring up the road
• The rustling of plastic bags blowing across the streets
• A football being scuffed along the ground in the sand, bouncing off walls and crashing off metal gates
• The train and it's strange, loud, slow whistle/honk warning the people and motos to get off the track as it slowly, slowly rattles and chugs by
• Our budgies bickering and pecking at their bars
• The strange high-pitched whistle of the machine in the plastic factory down the road
• Aeroplanes flying directly overhead, low and deafening (The airport is just 3km away)
• The odd mosquito buzzes by
• Our land-lord gently pronouncing words in English to his young daughter as she slowly reads her English books to him
• "Pong tiet koun, kdaw kdaw, pi- moi poan pram, pi- moi poan pram". A street vendor with his cart selling 'very hot baby ducks (in the egg) 2 for 40cents'. It's on an automatic speaker loop
• The 3yr old girl next door is crying again, and I think that was a smack on the bottom
• Our pedestal fans whirring, one on each of us 
• Little tiny sparrows chirping and flitting about
• Horns honking, piddly little moto horns warning that they're coming round the blind corner. Or  the factory's big truck horns signalling they're heading off for Vietnam. Or the impatient honk honk honk HONK of the wealthy man in the car waiting for someone to open his gate
• Voices. Lots of people speaking Khmer, all around us. It's a very nasal language, and it carries
• Roosters crowing. I'd nearly forgotten about them they're just background noise now
• The sound of the banana tree leaves rustling in the breeze
• Kareoke. About 3 different kareoke machines at different houses all within the same street. Around 5pm they become very loud
• Next door's washing machine, pulsing and humming very low. Quite soothing actually
• A cat moaning and howling by our window late each night. Ben wants to skin it...
• The squeak squeak of the recycling lady pulling her cart of cardboard and cans, squeezing an empty detergent bottle fitted with a kid's squeaker
• Big trucks revving, revving to get up the slight incline and into the factory
• Kids yelling 'hello!' and 'barang?' (foreigner) through out gate
• The rice cooker flicking from 'cook' to 'warm'
• Our land-lady laughing her high pitched, cackling, contagious laugh. We always laugh at her laughing :)
• Little geckos on the wall yapping
• Banging. Always banging? Some kind of hammer against metal. Somewhere
• Ambulance sirens (There are 2 large hospitals nearby)
• Ben microwaving yesterday's curry at a medium to high hum

Time Flies When You're Out of Town

October was a pretty busy month for Ben and I, as we got stuck into our various jobs. We both had a week break during the Khmer festival Pchum Ben, where the Khmer people return to the villages to pay homage to their living relatives and pray and give offerings for their ancestors passed, begging the spirits to free their ancestors from hell during the 15 days the gates are opened and their 'ghosts' are allowed to roam the earth... (who said Buddhism was all yoga and meditation and pretty smells? It can be pretty frightening to the Khmer). Anyway, during this time I had a 5-day business trip to Jakarta for PD, which was the first time I left Cambodia in 9 months! It was a busy conference where I learned a lot about my new role supporting high schoolers as they go on to University or return to their passport countries. It may come as a surprise, but Indonesia felt surprisingly foreign, western and quite developed in comparison to Cambodia! 

When I returned, I was greeted at the airport by my Mum! A few hours later and my Dad showed up as well :) They were here for their own conference and to visit us of course. I was so happy to see them, 10 months had been the longest I have ever gone without seeing them. I visited them at their hotel, we did some errands together and went to the tourist markets, before they came back to our place to stay with us. Over the weekend we went to Chambok Eco-village a few hours out of Phnom Penh, where you can hike to visit the waterfalls, climb into caves full of tiny bats, ride ox-carts, go twitching (that's bird-watching to you Noobs) and at the end of the day spend the night at a homestay of the local villagers. We stayed with a wonderful lady named Sarun. She was now a widow who lived with her 2 cows, 3 pigs, 4 dogs and numerous children and grandchildren (one just 5 days old when we arrived) in a little wooden hut on a small plot of land with a backdrop of mountains and rice paddies. In the evenings we'd chat all in Khmer and I'd translate for our two families, learning all about them and their lives, and especially about rice! She taught me all the different types of rice she grows, when it's in season, when they harvest, which different foods you eat the different types with, which ones weren't such a good crop this year, and when we must come back to help harvest! Haha :) But yes, we had a lovely time out there away from the city, swimming in the falls, enjoying wonderful home-cooked meals by the Chambok women's group, getting soaked by rain riding "iron buffalos" which are the funny two-wheeled tractors that pull wooden carts. The Eco-village project is run by the villagers themselves, with women on rotation forming the 'restaurant', young people being forest guides and the people opening their homes to tourists at just $4 a night for a perfectly decent mattress and mossie net :) And most of the money goes directly to them, with the rest going into a pot for loans to help other families get set up to join the program. A worthy cause if you ever get the chance to go. To be honest I was quite anxious much of the time, but being with my family was the best medicine- even if Dad being the Royal Nong that he is sometimes fueled the fire haha (you'll get a glimpse of that in the video). He works very hard all the time and was a bit ill when he visited, yet still managed make an adventure of every minute. Love ya Dad. Mum stayed with us a few days longer after we got back, and she took me on multiple 'therapy' trips to nice coffee shops and markets where she spoiled me rotten (it was nice enough finding our washing done and dried and folded!) I still miss her, and hope I can see them both again soon :')

Time went really slowly for a while after that. I was quite homesick for several weeks (still am a bit!) but we got stuck back into work, and then suddenly it was November and the Water Festival break! In Cambodia this is different to Myanmar and Thailand where they have a giant water-throwing fight in April. No, in Cambodia it celebrates the changing of direction of the Mekong River, the only river in the world to do so. After the monsoon rains, the Mekong river and the Tonle Sap Lake fill up so that the overflow makes it change direction. Or something like that. Anyway, usually all of Cambodia comes to Phnom Penh for the Dragon boat races of hundreds of men on skinny boats paddling like mad downriver... but due to civil unrest lately and some horrific accidents in past events (such as a stampede where over 300 people died) the event was cancelled this year. For us, it didn't matter so much, for we were getting out of town. Over the weekend we attended the annual Logos/ Asian Hope Staff Retreat at Sihanoukville, a beach town about 5hrs drive from PP. My family and I used to go there a lot, but gosh the place had changed. The days were broken into a few group sessions and then free time, which we mostly spent with friends walking the beach or eating haha. Forget Khmer food (which we eat a reasonable amount of) Ben and I probably put on a few kilos with all the delicious western food we could get at that tourist town! However, early the second morning, the first time I took a dip in the sea nearly ruined the whole trip. As Ben was photographing me in the water at a secluded little bay in the forest, a Khmer boy snuck up behind Ben, grabbed my handbag and ran off with it. I watched it happen and yelled to Ben who took off after him. Thank God he dropped it because inside was my phone and wallet with over $100 and all my ID, bank cards, license you name it. My anxiety took over for a bit that day, as you might image, but by the afternoon we found ourselves trudging to the ocean in the flooded streets and pouring rain, completely soaked to the core, having a good laugh with friends. Believe it or not but the ocean was like a spa-bath after that, so lovely and warm! Anyway, Ben and I stayed on a little longer after the retreat, and moved to a different beach for a change of scenery. It was a nice few days of riding bicycles, swimming in the warm, shallow water and stuffing ourselves with beach BBQs. 

Now it'll once again be back to work- and my 24th birthday on Wednesday, gosh- for just a few more weeks and then it'll be Christmas. Where did all the time go?

Check out Ben's video to have a little sneak peak into these beautiful locations we visited- and maybe you'd like to come visit too! He's such a talented man!

Tragedy of the common (people)

"It's no problem for Cambodians".  A phrase which could apply to many things: wearing long-sleeves and pants in the afternoon, eating prohok like it's Nutella or driving a moto through a flooded street as if it were a boat.  I heard it today from a deck-hand on a glass-bottom boat when I was questioning why he was keeping 5-6 baby fish to eat.

Let me preface this by saying a few things: 1 - this man was not in poverty.  Working for a foreign-run business in a tourist area would be one of the better-paying jobs in this area.  Human life trumps the life of animals, so if all you can catch is baby fish, then by all means.  2 - these were varieties of cod, some of which grow in excess of 1m, and the smallest legal sizes for all but one species of cod in Western Australia is 30-40cm.  3 - these cod were about 6-10cm in length; literally babies.

Normally I'm a reserved person and don't directly question people about their actions, but in this instance I probed further:
Q - "Do you know that these fish will grow much bigger?"
A - "Here only little fish, big fish deeper in the ocean"
Q/statement - "In my country we have many bigger fish because we release the babies"
A - "It's no problem for Cambodians"

Which is exactly the point: in developing countries such as Cambodia, overfishing is one of the greatest threats to food security.  Not only is it a drastic problem for Cambodia, but for almost all fishery-dependent nation in the world.  According to the WWF, all but 15% of the world's fish stocks are fully exploited, over exploited, depleted or recovering from depletion, and at the current rate, all table-fish stocks are expected to collapse by 2048.

So, how do we create change?  If you know, please tell me, because the only idea that kept coming up in my head was to go full-greenpeace and tip out the bucket of baby cod (which I regrettably did not do).  But speaking to this man, I could see there was no understanding of the concept of "sustainable fishing".  The explanation for the observation of only baby fish being found was simply that the big fish are somewhere else, here there are only small fish, so I will eat these small fish.  Attempts to explain that these fish will grow bigger were futile, as was highlighting difference in fishing practices between our countries - "It's no problem for Cambodians".

Now I know what you're thinking - if this guy throws his fish back, the other fishermen are going to keep them, meaning he loses out, so of course if makes sense for him to keep keeping the baby fish.  However this situation mirrors the Prisoner's dilemma - if each fisherman acts in what seems to bring the greatest reward to themselves, both end up losing.  This is exactly what we've seen and continue to see around the world in instances beyond fishing.  To reap the greatest benefit for all parties, what's needed is cooperation - parties taking a lesser reward each, however the population benefits overall.

But how do we do that?  How can you convince someone to throw away a meal today to give a greater chance of a meal tomorrow?  It's so frustrating having these  conversations because skills such as reasoning, evidence-based practice and analysing observations are not at all emphasised in the Khmer school system, and even then, less than 50% of children finish high school.

Therefore, fostering these skills in the next generation of Cambodians is vital.  I am fortunate to play a small role in this, but I take it very seriously (not that my students would notice).  I believe it absolutely critical that future ministers, heads of industry and businesses are able to look at our world in all its complexity, balance and current turmoil and make informed decisions that will lead to the best outcomes.  But not the best outcomes for not only themselves, but make decisions that lead to the best outcomes for the flora and fauna, people of other race, social status or religion, and generations to come.

/rant

Where Do We Go From Here? [Ben and Ruth]

The past few months have been amazing; not in the sense that there wasn't any stress or anxiety (there still was/is), but amazing in that a random orange house in a semi-permanently flooded street, 5000km from Perth has been feeling like home. I never expected to feel this comfortable with our decision to move over here. Don't get me wrong - we haven't solved any of the problems: the language barrier is still there, we still have to fight to not get ripped off and every drive to somewhere more than 5 minutes away involves at least one close call. But instead of 100% of the problems being new problems which require new solutions (like it was when we first arrived), 90% of them are things I've handled before, allowing me to dedicate time and energy to the 10% (such as one of the kids outside now being armed with a BB-gun).

 So, where do we go from here? We've passed "survival" phase, and "coping" phase, so I guess we're now onto "enjoyment" phase.  I've started to be a bit more outgoing recently (instead of living in front of a screen), spending time after school playing soccer with students (do your homework) and going to the gym (which Ruth semi-hates, because I'm not with her :( ), although socially, I'm still a bit of a recluse (baby-steps). We've also started to have a regular date night (does it count as being social if you're hanging out with your wife?) on Friday evenings which has been surprisingly awesome - not that I didn't expect dating my wife to be awesome, but I had forgotten how nice it is to get out of the house and do something nice. Ruth and I always reminisce about taking the train into Perth on a Friday night in winter, with the cool rain and beautiful night sky, and now we have something like that over here (except the rain is sometimes warm, and the pollution dulls the view of the sky a little).
The guard is still up, though - living here will bite you in the backside if you become complacent, but for now, I'm enjoying it. Stay tuned for Ruth's post where she mentions all the things I forgot! (No new photos, so have these from our previous trip to Siem Reap)

Ruth: Aww, yes dating one's wife counts. What a sweetie. I am currently in Indonesia having been sent by Hope school for some PD training. It is both amazing and terrifying haha- I'm learning SO much about my new position and future possibilities, but travelling in another country alone again is very weird. I'd forgotten what it was like to be ripped off by taxis, hollered at by hawkers and lost in the maths conversions of millions (literally, millions) of foreign currency. However, my eyes have been wide open since I've landed. This part of Jakarta is such a contrast to what I've heard. It is so green and SO developed; there are trees everywhere, 5 lane highways and toll booths just for cars, chain stores and fast food, ginormous shopping centres, neon lights everywhere, sky-high apartments and even an IKEA! (and this is the suburbs!) Phnom Penh looks so dusty and small and chaotic and poor in comparison. And yes I've accidentally spoken to local Jakartians in Khmer, how embarrassing. But hey, we haven't left Cambodia since we first arrived, and this last 9 months has been the longest I have stayed in 1 country for 5 years so everything seems bigger and brighter and better. Anyway, this little trip has just reminded me that, despite Ben's ever-positive spin on how ok things are, when things are bad, they will not always be this way. There is life after this and there is still a world outside of Phnom Penh. Whether it be 2 or 10 years from now, we can leave when we like. And when we save up some money, we can travel! It no longer has to feel like the permanent 'this is it, this is our life now' like it has before. Hopefully that thought will invigorate me a little more when even just that 10% of problems gets me down.

One big tear-jerker up and coming is a visit from my parents, of who I am so desperate to see that I am already upset at the thought of them leaving before they've arrived! It'll be so lovely when they visit, but very, very hard to see them go. Having the support of family nearby is a luxury we haven't had for a while now, but it doesn't get easier. We love our parents! While I've been away Ben "rowul menten, koat riepchom phteah" has been very busy preparing the house, cooking and cleaning so they can stay with us in our little place for a week or two. What a seriously great guy! :D Really saves me having to do much when I come back (especially since i'm working the end of the holiday and over the weekend!). Yes, the holiday. Just before I left we had a few days off for Pchum Ben, a Khmer festival where people go home to the provinces and visit the 'Wat' (Pagodas), where they make offerings and ask blessings of the monks for the spirits of their deceased ancestors who are said to be 'released from the gates of hell' for 15 days. It's quite a dark tradition really, based on fear of being cursed by spirit-relatives if they are not prayed for their release from hell. Shudder. Anyway, as this time is a massive exodus of citizens from the city, Ben and I had a quiet 'staycation'. We did spoil ourselves to 1 night at an odd little getaway out of town, and spent the other 3 days relaxing at home, making our garden space more lovely, doing some art and catching up with some video-game fun ;)

Hopefully with a visit from my folks we can get out of the city once more and just have a lovely time with them while they're here. I wonder what they'll think of PP now, 12 years from when we first moved here....

Ps, The BB gun kid got you too Ben? (Ben: No, I was referring to the incident you describe)Whilst I was painting our gate, he would sneak his pistol through the gaps, fire at me, then ask in Khmer "Did I hurt you?" and if I said no, he'd shoot again and again until I said yes, you got me, to which he laughed maniacally. Sigh, little boys, it doesn't matter where they're from...

A Postal Address!

Due to my now working at Hope, the school is able to receive post on my behalf! This is both professionally and as a perk of being on staff. So if you would like to send Ben and myself a letter or a parcel, you are now able :) For letters and inexpensive items, use the PO Box address below. Be wary that it is unfortunately a normal circumstance for parcels to arrive anywhere between 3 days to 6 months, or sometimes not at all. Many parcels going through the national post service have a funny habit of being mysteriously late, going missing, or showing up with clear signs of tampering- I've had my underwear nicked once! Still, it's a risk we're willing for you to take :P haha.

For larger or more 'valuable' items, the school can now also accept DHL deliveries, but it might be best to contact me about that beforehand.

Anyway, here is the school postal address:

Ruth Devadoss

C/o Hope International School

PO Box 2521

Phnom Penh 3

Cambodia 12000

The street address of the school, if ever needed, is:

Hope International School

Phum Krang Angkrong 2, 

Sangkat Krang Thnong, Khan Sen Sok, 
Phnom Penh, Cambodia 12411

Bring on the millions of goodies that you've been dying to send us :P

"Summer Holidays" and New Beginnings

Well we can't believe it, but it's September now. The last 3 months since we've given an update have just flown by! In June and July, Ben and my school years ended and we had our 'summer' break, so we used the time to do some travelling around this beautiful country and see the real Cambodia. We had multiple visits from family and friends, went hiking in the jungle and caught up on our history of Angkor. In August I starting work at a new job at a somewhat familiar place; my old school stomping ground Hope International, where I am a guidance counsellor for the high schoolers. It is well into wet season now, and it rains daily meaning we've had our fair share of flooding! The rains have brought much needed cooler weather to Phnom Penh, and the fields all round the country are a lush green, filled with new rice and buffalo.  It has definately been a great time of discovery, revival and new beginnings for us both. Here's a little video to catch you up!

(and the budgies Luna and Juniper are singing away in the background, our little reminders of home!)

Falling Apart?

Some days, living in Cambodia is rough, and it's not necessarily from being here. It's just that when things do go wrong here, it seems worse. We don't have our old friends and family around to help us. There aren't the usual systems in place to work things out. The language barrier proves significant in trying to right wrongs, not to mention cultural differences. So when things go wrong, it us up to us to figure it out on our own. Us against the world. Like the time our moto broke down 32 times on a simple journey and 4 different mechanics didn't know what to do with it (but all wanted a little something for looking). Or when Ben lost his wedding ring and we searched over an hour outside in a  monsoon storm and never found it. Or the time the power went out when it was a swealtering evening and I was trying to work on something important, but it was only our house in the whole street that went out!?

These were all actually in the last few days. I'm a delicate person, prone to stress and anxiety especially since moving to Cambodia, but for each of these occasions I did ok. I held my head, and just got on with it.

But by the end of the week, a simple little thing caused me to break down. The sky was dark, rain was spitting. Ben sent me off to the street market to quickly buy some vegetables and deodorant before the rain came, and he went off to find some of his favourite fried potato snack a little lady sells from a plate she carries on her head. I approached a stall were a lady was selling cleaning and beauty products. I pointed to her deodorants and asked her which was the cheapest one. And that's where it went wrong. I don't know if she was offended that I, a 'wealthy white lady' (despite the only $2 in my hand, ruffled hair, mud up my legs and a plastic bag of veges just like everyone else in that place) would buy the cheapest product I could, or if she was just having a rough day herself, but she became quite harsh towards me. Her manner made me feel so small and she called out to other shop keepers and talked about me while I stood there. When I didn't understand her asking if I wanted a bag for that, she made fun of me that I didn't know what a plastic bag was. I realised and stuttered out in my worst Khmer 'khnyom ot cong plastik tong te, orkun'. She laughed at me loudly and I left.

It was just 5 minutes. In 5 minutes everything came crashing down- Was she mad at me? Did I offend her? Why was she mean? I can't understand her Khmer. My Khmer is so rubbish. I'm a bumbling fool. I'll never speak Khmer well. I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider, whiter than white no matter how hard I try. I always will be. What good is my being here. I never should have come.

Something little like that shouldn't have got to me. As a foreigner here we face things like that all the time, mostly from street kids whose Khmer is even more colloquial and full of slang I can't understand at all! I've always been stared at, talked about, from when I was 11yrs old and in this country the first time. But of all the little things that went wrong this week, why did that one affect me so much? A friend of mine here recently informed me of something called 'Bad Cambodia Days'. They're just days where things suck for no apparent reason. Every expat or missionary or foreigner living here has them. The trick for me is let them each be their own problem. To keep them a circle, a problem with a set of emotions and eventually a solution. Not, as Ben says, a spiral, where you get lost in your own head, thinking about them and all other related bad things that did or could happen, building up and accumulating into a big ugly breakdown waiting to happen (I'll neither confirm nor deny that one or many of those may or may not have occurred already) and not let them overshadow the bigger picture of our time here and reason for it.

So here is an article I found really comforting and drew some tears. It reminded me that life here can be tough, even for the foreigners, and that is ok. We are no longer in our home country and we will never really be part of the host country -we, along with thousands of other foreigners- are stuck somewhere in the middle of a 'third culture'. And whilst sometimes being part of that community is awesome, it comes with it's own set of disadvantages. Yet being able to fall apart occasionally, even over the tiniest thing, is something that we as expats or missionaries or whatever you like to call us, should be allowed to do openly, as a badge of honour for being moulded by both the harsh realities of this fallen world (that mind you, we see around us daily in these poverty stricken nations), and the untouchable and holy plans that the Almighty has for our lives; To strip us down and build us up again as perfectly his.

This article is taken from http://www.alifeoverseas.com/what-if-i-fall-apart-on-the-mission-field/

What If I Fall Apart on the Mission Field?

by ELIZABETH TROTTER on JUNE 29, 2014

They say that living overseas will bring out all our bad stuff. They say it like it’s a warning, like it’s supposed to scare us out of going. Like only a superhuman could go and survive.

And what if they’re right? What if moving overseas does bring out all our dark stuff, putting it on display for all to see? What if all the inner turmoil we kept so neatly concealed in our passport countries – or didn’t even know existed – starts falling out of our hearts, falling out of our mouths? What if it spills out into daily life, interfering with all the good works we’re supposed to be doing?

But — what if that’s not such a bad thing? I mean, what if it doesn’t end there, with you at the end of yourself? What if all the stuff that surfaces is supposed to surface? What if the only way to know what’s inside your heart is for it to come out? And what if the junk that needs to come out wouldn’t actually come out in your home country?

So maybe those multiple breakdowns have a purpose. Maybe knowing your weaknesses means you know God more intimately. Maybe you are exactly where He wants you to be, right at this moment. Maybe living overseas means becoming the person that God created you to be.

You followed Him across oceans and continents, across countries and cultures. You prepared for this for years, dreamedof it for longer. And all for what? Just to fall apart on arrival?

No, I don’t believe that. You followed Him this far for a purpose, because you love Him, and because He loves you. And now that you are where He wants you to be, He’s not going to leave you alone and without help. If God brought you to this place, don’t you think He will use cross-cultural living to shape you into the person He wants you to be?

When all our darkness reveals itself, God is right there beside us, waiting, ready to bring ever greater healing to our hearts. Through all this nasty falling-apartness, I believe God wants to heal the broken pieces of our lives. And living overseas might mean that we’re in just the right place to accept those healing changes.

So maybe they’re right. Maybe living overseas will draw out all our bad stuff. Maybe we won’t be able to hide it any more. But I no longer think that’s something to be afraid of — life with God is not something to fear.

So today, if you find yourself in that broken place, at the bottom of a mountain of messes in your life, have faith in the One who called you. Trust Him to put you back together again. Because falling apart is not the end of the story, but it just might be the beginning of a new one.

 -