Tragedy of the common (people)

"It's no problem for Cambodians".  A phrase which could apply to many things: wearing long-sleeves and pants in the afternoon, eating prohok like it's Nutella or driving a moto through a flooded street as if it were a boat.  I heard it today from a deck-hand on a glass-bottom boat when I was questioning why he was keeping 5-6 baby fish to eat.

Let me preface this by saying a few things: 1 - this man was not in poverty.  Working for a foreign-run business in a tourist area would be one of the better-paying jobs in this area.  Human life trumps the life of animals, so if all you can catch is baby fish, then by all means.  2 - these were varieties of cod, some of which grow in excess of 1m, and the smallest legal sizes for all but one species of cod in Western Australia is 30-40cm.  3 - these cod were about 6-10cm in length; literally babies.

Normally I'm a reserved person and don't directly question people about their actions, but in this instance I probed further:
Q - "Do you know that these fish will grow much bigger?"
A - "Here only little fish, big fish deeper in the ocean"
Q/statement - "In my country we have many bigger fish because we release the babies"
A - "It's no problem for Cambodians"

Which is exactly the point: in developing countries such as Cambodia, overfishing is one of the greatest threats to food security.  Not only is it a drastic problem for Cambodia, but for almost all fishery-dependent nation in the world.  According to the WWF, all but 15% of the world's fish stocks are fully exploited, over exploited, depleted or recovering from depletion, and at the current rate, all table-fish stocks are expected to collapse by 2048.

So, how do we create change?  If you know, please tell me, because the only idea that kept coming up in my head was to go full-greenpeace and tip out the bucket of baby cod (which I regrettably did not do).  But speaking to this man, I could see there was no understanding of the concept of "sustainable fishing".  The explanation for the observation of only baby fish being found was simply that the big fish are somewhere else, here there are only small fish, so I will eat these small fish.  Attempts to explain that these fish will grow bigger were futile, as was highlighting difference in fishing practices between our countries - "It's no problem for Cambodians".

Now I know what you're thinking - if this guy throws his fish back, the other fishermen are going to keep them, meaning he loses out, so of course if makes sense for him to keep keeping the baby fish.  However this situation mirrors the Prisoner's dilemma - if each fisherman acts in what seems to bring the greatest reward to themselves, both end up losing.  This is exactly what we've seen and continue to see around the world in instances beyond fishing.  To reap the greatest benefit for all parties, what's needed is cooperation - parties taking a lesser reward each, however the population benefits overall.

But how do we do that?  How can you convince someone to throw away a meal today to give a greater chance of a meal tomorrow?  It's so frustrating having these  conversations because skills such as reasoning, evidence-based practice and analysing observations are not at all emphasised in the Khmer school system, and even then, less than 50% of children finish high school.

Therefore, fostering these skills in the next generation of Cambodians is vital.  I am fortunate to play a small role in this, but I take it very seriously (not that my students would notice).  I believe it absolutely critical that future ministers, heads of industry and businesses are able to look at our world in all its complexity, balance and current turmoil and make informed decisions that will lead to the best outcomes.  But not the best outcomes for not only themselves, but make decisions that lead to the best outcomes for the flora and fauna, people of other race, social status or religion, and generations to come.

/rant

Where Do We Go From Here? [Ben and Ruth]

The past few months have been amazing; not in the sense that there wasn't any stress or anxiety (there still was/is), but amazing in that a random orange house in a semi-permanently flooded street, 5000km from Perth has been feeling like home. I never expected to feel this comfortable with our decision to move over here. Don't get me wrong - we haven't solved any of the problems: the language barrier is still there, we still have to fight to not get ripped off and every drive to somewhere more than 5 minutes away involves at least one close call. But instead of 100% of the problems being new problems which require new solutions (like it was when we first arrived), 90% of them are things I've handled before, allowing me to dedicate time and energy to the 10% (such as one of the kids outside now being armed with a BB-gun).

 So, where do we go from here? We've passed "survival" phase, and "coping" phase, so I guess we're now onto "enjoyment" phase.  I've started to be a bit more outgoing recently (instead of living in front of a screen), spending time after school playing soccer with students (do your homework) and going to the gym (which Ruth semi-hates, because I'm not with her :( ), although socially, I'm still a bit of a recluse (baby-steps). We've also started to have a regular date night (does it count as being social if you're hanging out with your wife?) on Friday evenings which has been surprisingly awesome - not that I didn't expect dating my wife to be awesome, but I had forgotten how nice it is to get out of the house and do something nice. Ruth and I always reminisce about taking the train into Perth on a Friday night in winter, with the cool rain and beautiful night sky, and now we have something like that over here (except the rain is sometimes warm, and the pollution dulls the view of the sky a little).
The guard is still up, though - living here will bite you in the backside if you become complacent, but for now, I'm enjoying it. Stay tuned for Ruth's post where she mentions all the things I forgot! (No new photos, so have these from our previous trip to Siem Reap)

Ruth: Aww, yes dating one's wife counts. What a sweetie. I am currently in Indonesia having been sent by Hope school for some PD training. It is both amazing and terrifying haha- I'm learning SO much about my new position and future possibilities, but travelling in another country alone again is very weird. I'd forgotten what it was like to be ripped off by taxis, hollered at by hawkers and lost in the maths conversions of millions (literally, millions) of foreign currency. However, my eyes have been wide open since I've landed. This part of Jakarta is such a contrast to what I've heard. It is so green and SO developed; there are trees everywhere, 5 lane highways and toll booths just for cars, chain stores and fast food, ginormous shopping centres, neon lights everywhere, sky-high apartments and even an IKEA! (and this is the suburbs!) Phnom Penh looks so dusty and small and chaotic and poor in comparison. And yes I've accidentally spoken to local Jakartians in Khmer, how embarrassing. But hey, we haven't left Cambodia since we first arrived, and this last 9 months has been the longest I have stayed in 1 country for 5 years so everything seems bigger and brighter and better. Anyway, this little trip has just reminded me that, despite Ben's ever-positive spin on how ok things are, when things are bad, they will not always be this way. There is life after this and there is still a world outside of Phnom Penh. Whether it be 2 or 10 years from now, we can leave when we like. And when we save up some money, we can travel! It no longer has to feel like the permanent 'this is it, this is our life now' like it has before. Hopefully that thought will invigorate me a little more when even just that 10% of problems gets me down.

One big tear-jerker up and coming is a visit from my parents, of who I am so desperate to see that I am already upset at the thought of them leaving before they've arrived! It'll be so lovely when they visit, but very, very hard to see them go. Having the support of family nearby is a luxury we haven't had for a while now, but it doesn't get easier. We love our parents! While I've been away Ben "rowul menten, koat riepchom phteah" has been very busy preparing the house, cooking and cleaning so they can stay with us in our little place for a week or two. What a seriously great guy! :D Really saves me having to do much when I come back (especially since i'm working the end of the holiday and over the weekend!). Yes, the holiday. Just before I left we had a few days off for Pchum Ben, a Khmer festival where people go home to the provinces and visit the 'Wat' (Pagodas), where they make offerings and ask blessings of the monks for the spirits of their deceased ancestors who are said to be 'released from the gates of hell' for 15 days. It's quite a dark tradition really, based on fear of being cursed by spirit-relatives if they are not prayed for their release from hell. Shudder. Anyway, as this time is a massive exodus of citizens from the city, Ben and I had a quiet 'staycation'. We did spoil ourselves to 1 night at an odd little getaway out of town, and spent the other 3 days relaxing at home, making our garden space more lovely, doing some art and catching up with some video-game fun ;)

Hopefully with a visit from my folks we can get out of the city once more and just have a lovely time with them while they're here. I wonder what they'll think of PP now, 12 years from when we first moved here....

Ps, The BB gun kid got you too Ben? (Ben: No, I was referring to the incident you describe)Whilst I was painting our gate, he would sneak his pistol through the gaps, fire at me, then ask in Khmer "Did I hurt you?" and if I said no, he'd shoot again and again until I said yes, you got me, to which he laughed maniacally. Sigh, little boys, it doesn't matter where they're from...

A Postal Address!

Due to my now working at Hope, the school is able to receive post on my behalf! This is both professionally and as a perk of being on staff. So if you would like to send Ben and myself a letter or a parcel, you are now able :) For letters and inexpensive items, use the PO Box address below. Be wary that it is unfortunately a normal circumstance for parcels to arrive anywhere between 3 days to 6 months, or sometimes not at all. Many parcels going through the national post service have a funny habit of being mysteriously late, going missing, or showing up with clear signs of tampering- I've had my underwear nicked once! Still, it's a risk we're willing for you to take :P haha.

For larger or more 'valuable' items, the school can now also accept DHL deliveries, but it might be best to contact me about that beforehand.

Anyway, here is the school postal address:

Ruth Devadoss

C/o Hope International School

PO Box 2521

Phnom Penh 3

Cambodia 12000

The street address of the school, if ever needed, is:

Hope International School

Phum Krang Angkrong 2, 

Sangkat Krang Thnong, Khan Sen Sok, 
Phnom Penh, Cambodia 12411

Bring on the millions of goodies that you've been dying to send us :P

"Summer Holidays" and New Beginnings

Well we can't believe it, but it's September now. The last 3 months since we've given an update have just flown by! In June and July, Ben and my school years ended and we had our 'summer' break, so we used the time to do some travelling around this beautiful country and see the real Cambodia. We had multiple visits from family and friends, went hiking in the jungle and caught up on our history of Angkor. In August I starting work at a new job at a somewhat familiar place; my old school stomping ground Hope International, where I am a guidance counsellor for the high schoolers. It is well into wet season now, and it rains daily meaning we've had our fair share of flooding! The rains have brought much needed cooler weather to Phnom Penh, and the fields all round the country are a lush green, filled with new rice and buffalo.  It has definately been a great time of discovery, revival and new beginnings for us both. Here's a little video to catch you up!

(and the budgies Luna and Juniper are singing away in the background, our little reminders of home!)

Falling Apart?

Some days, living in Cambodia is rough, and it's not necessarily from being here. It's just that when things do go wrong here, it seems worse. We don't have our old friends and family around to help us. There aren't the usual systems in place to work things out. The language barrier proves significant in trying to right wrongs, not to mention cultural differences. So when things go wrong, it us up to us to figure it out on our own. Us against the world. Like the time our moto broke down 32 times on a simple journey and 4 different mechanics didn't know what to do with it (but all wanted a little something for looking). Or when Ben lost his wedding ring and we searched over an hour outside in a  monsoon storm and never found it. Or the time the power went out when it was a swealtering evening and I was trying to work on something important, but it was only our house in the whole street that went out!?

These were all actually in the last few days. I'm a delicate person, prone to stress and anxiety especially since moving to Cambodia, but for each of these occasions I did ok. I held my head, and just got on with it.

But by the end of the week, a simple little thing caused me to break down. The sky was dark, rain was spitting. Ben sent me off to the street market to quickly buy some vegetables and deodorant before the rain came, and he went off to find some of his favourite fried potato snack a little lady sells from a plate she carries on her head. I approached a stall were a lady was selling cleaning and beauty products. I pointed to her deodorants and asked her which was the cheapest one. And that's where it went wrong. I don't know if she was offended that I, a 'wealthy white lady' (despite the only $2 in my hand, ruffled hair, mud up my legs and a plastic bag of veges just like everyone else in that place) would buy the cheapest product I could, or if she was just having a rough day herself, but she became quite harsh towards me. Her manner made me feel so small and she called out to other shop keepers and talked about me while I stood there. When I didn't understand her asking if I wanted a bag for that, she made fun of me that I didn't know what a plastic bag was. I realised and stuttered out in my worst Khmer 'khnyom ot cong plastik tong te, orkun'. She laughed at me loudly and I left.

It was just 5 minutes. In 5 minutes everything came crashing down- Was she mad at me? Did I offend her? Why was she mean? I can't understand her Khmer. My Khmer is so rubbish. I'm a bumbling fool. I'll never speak Khmer well. I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider, whiter than white no matter how hard I try. I always will be. What good is my being here. I never should have come.

Something little like that shouldn't have got to me. As a foreigner here we face things like that all the time, mostly from street kids whose Khmer is even more colloquial and full of slang I can't understand at all! I've always been stared at, talked about, from when I was 11yrs old and in this country the first time. But of all the little things that went wrong this week, why did that one affect me so much? A friend of mine here recently informed me of something called 'Bad Cambodia Days'. They're just days where things suck for no apparent reason. Every expat or missionary or foreigner living here has them. The trick for me is let them each be their own problem. To keep them a circle, a problem with a set of emotions and eventually a solution. Not, as Ben says, a spiral, where you get lost in your own head, thinking about them and all other related bad things that did or could happen, building up and accumulating into a big ugly breakdown waiting to happen (I'll neither confirm nor deny that one or many of those may or may not have occurred already) and not let them overshadow the bigger picture of our time here and reason for it.

So here is an article I found really comforting and drew some tears. It reminded me that life here can be tough, even for the foreigners, and that is ok. We are no longer in our home country and we will never really be part of the host country -we, along with thousands of other foreigners- are stuck somewhere in the middle of a 'third culture'. And whilst sometimes being part of that community is awesome, it comes with it's own set of disadvantages. Yet being able to fall apart occasionally, even over the tiniest thing, is something that we as expats or missionaries or whatever you like to call us, should be allowed to do openly, as a badge of honour for being moulded by both the harsh realities of this fallen world (that mind you, we see around us daily in these poverty stricken nations), and the untouchable and holy plans that the Almighty has for our lives; To strip us down and build us up again as perfectly his.

This article is taken from http://www.alifeoverseas.com/what-if-i-fall-apart-on-the-mission-field/

What If I Fall Apart on the Mission Field?

by ELIZABETH TROTTER on JUNE 29, 2014

They say that living overseas will bring out all our bad stuff. They say it like it’s a warning, like it’s supposed to scare us out of going. Like only a superhuman could go and survive.

And what if they’re right? What if moving overseas does bring out all our dark stuff, putting it on display for all to see? What if all the inner turmoil we kept so neatly concealed in our passport countries – or didn’t even know existed – starts falling out of our hearts, falling out of our mouths? What if it spills out into daily life, interfering with all the good works we’re supposed to be doing?

But — what if that’s not such a bad thing? I mean, what if it doesn’t end there, with you at the end of yourself? What if all the stuff that surfaces is supposed to surface? What if the only way to know what’s inside your heart is for it to come out? And what if the junk that needs to come out wouldn’t actually come out in your home country?

So maybe those multiple breakdowns have a purpose. Maybe knowing your weaknesses means you know God more intimately. Maybe you are exactly where He wants you to be, right at this moment. Maybe living overseas means becoming the person that God created you to be.

You followed Him across oceans and continents, across countries and cultures. You prepared for this for years, dreamedof it for longer. And all for what? Just to fall apart on arrival?

No, I don’t believe that. You followed Him this far for a purpose, because you love Him, and because He loves you. And now that you are where He wants you to be, He’s not going to leave you alone and without help. If God brought you to this place, don’t you think He will use cross-cultural living to shape you into the person He wants you to be?

When all our darkness reveals itself, God is right there beside us, waiting, ready to bring ever greater healing to our hearts. Through all this nasty falling-apartness, I believe God wants to heal the broken pieces of our lives. And living overseas might mean that we’re in just the right place to accept those healing changes.

So maybe they’re right. Maybe living overseas will draw out all our bad stuff. Maybe we won’t be able to hide it any more. But I no longer think that’s something to be afraid of — life with God is not something to fear.

So today, if you find yourself in that broken place, at the bottom of a mountain of messes in your life, have faith in the One who called you. Trust Him to put you back together again. Because falling apart is not the end of the story, but it just might be the beginning of a new one.

 -

A Harsh Open Letter to the Mission Minded

Ok folks, it's time to get real. This is going to be pretty harsh, I'm not going to lie. Perhaps some things are better left unsaid, but I think here in the real world, it's alright to share one's thoughts, particularly negative ones, for they can help us question and really think about our activities and current ways of doing things, particularly if the results of such are impacting on others' lives. This obviously has a background context to the developing world and those who are mission minded, but should include anyone in any context, towards any action. It's basically common sense.
I apologise if I step on any toes here, but perhaps it was intentional. I want to pull those strings. I want you to stop and think.

So where to begin?

Sigh. I am a selfish and sometimes negatively outspoken person. Oh yes. Very much so. Particularly in regards to developing countries and how we have a responsibility to aid them. I mean, I've spent the last 6 years of my life studying in that area. But, as I'm sure you know, there are two very special countries, two that are very dear to my heart, where my personal responsibility is a whole another story. Growing up in Myanmar and Cambodia, I have somehow become overprotective of them, thinking that they are 'My Cambodia' and 'My Myanmar'. It is not a good thing, oh no. Is it a TCK (third culture kid) thing? Undoubtedly. My years living there, inclusive of the amazing experiences and the pain and grief surrounding us while my family and host countries were seemingly isolated from the modern world, grew in me such a strong association and emotional bond with these places and their people. I feel as if I was raised by these countries, for them. It is as if I have given myself the role of defending these struggling developing nations against the world, and making sure they can develop in the best possible way. It is a fact that I've become incredibly cautious to 'the Western Threat'... not necessarily western ideology or technology, but from the do-gooders who have the right intentions, but who do not think deeply enough or observe the situation properly before they barge right on in. And I am 100% guilty of that.

This time around, I'm seeing it more clearly than ever before. Westerners, who come here and bring their ways of doing things; full of gusto and pre-planned agendas and 'Yes I'm gonna save Cambodia!'. I know. I've thought like this. We did this. We are this. When you pack up your whole life into a suitcase and head to such a destitute place, you have to think like this. You have to encourage yourself that you're not crazy, that that country needs you, and that there's a purpose much higher than your own. You're going to help. We've only lived in Phnom Penh for 4 months, so we're following this manual to a tee. But one thing we try to do is to acknowledge of our intentions and why we are really here. Yes, we've chosen His path, answered His call, we're living for God, and we've moved to this developing country to help the people: It's not about us. But in a way, it is. I know I am here for them, but I am also here for me. As closure for my mixed up, messed up TCK childhood. As a supporting wife to my husband (who was called this time not me) and as one testing the waters of her career as a budding development professional. We're here now so we can be somewhere else then, either in time or physical place. It's a shaping, moulding process that we're going through, not just for them, but for us and how He wants us to be. Unless we're all honest or take the time to really think about our 'do-gooder' attitudes and intentions, you're going to be impacting those lives around you in a much less helpful way than you believe. You'll be blind to your own ambitions, pre-conceived agendas and even the plans that He has for your life.

So that is the first step. Think. Think about yourself and your real reasons for wanting to go on that mission trip, for building that school, for planting that church. You can tell yourself you're doing a great deed for them, but guaranteed it'll benefit you more than it will them. These comforting words we tell ourselves so we don't feel guilty about spending the $2000 to go serve in Thailand for a week rather than just donating the money, need to be thought about out in the open before we are truly free to focus on others. It is OK to go for yourself, to learn about the world, to be exposed to poverty, to feel good about doing good as your follow in Jesus' footsteps the way he intended. Just do not hide that fact.

The second step is something that, now I've been here a while without being blind to my own intentions, I've had the most helpful experience one can get in relation to helping those around us: The opportunity to observe. To take in what is actually going on here in Cambodia. To see trends and patterns, see what is being done well and what is not. And what I have observed, and get my Cambodia-Myanmar-jealousy-defensive-armour on about, is the do-gooders. Sigh, the do-gooders. They come in many shapes and forms; volunteers, english teachers, church planting missionaries, NGO workers. One is even called Ruth. We are them. Yet there is an increasing pattern of activities that are being done by those with good intentions, that I think has a range of negative implications that could be easily avoided if more people were to stop and observe what is already in place.

An example. (And prepare for a rant). Did you know there are over 50 different churches in Phnom Penh listed on the first few pages of the Yellow Pages alone (I couldn't be bothered to keep counting), not to mention the dozens of their various plants across town and the hundreds of small home churches that Khmer's generally prefer to go to. Phnom Penh is not a large city. You can get from one end to the other in half an hour. These churches are widespread and are across a large number of denominations, even interdenominational, catering to just about anyone. And yet even now, more missionaries  come to add a plant of their particular church in this city, to put their organisation's name on it, to have their only slightly differentiating doctrines taught. Is that really what the Khmer people of this city need? There are already many churches here! Go out into the provinces, by all means. Go out and reach those who cannot be reached. Church planting out there in the poverty-stricken isolated corners of rural Cambodia is a different story. There is much need out there! But I cannot see the benefits of bringing in white pastors who use western metaphors and sing English songs when there are hundreds of pre-existing local churches that are held in Khmer, that teach according to Khmer customs, by Khmer pastors, for the Khmer people. Are there not parallels the former draws to old, colonial and now rightly criticised ways of thinking? Surely the latter makes more sense? If you are catering to the foreigners and expats in the city, fine. Say so. But do not show in your advertising material to your church back home that Phnom Penh is a desperate city unreached by Christianity! It is a desperate city, but not solely for that reason. If you want to grow the church, great! Consider partnering with the local Khmer churches, increasing their numbers, their outreach. They are already doing a fantastic job, with a fantastic response. What makes you think Phnom Penh needs another? You want to be needed? These local and provincial churches need support not competition.

I believe that this is the case with many things in developing countries, non-government NGOs included. So often the story goes that the local organisations that are in place, and have been working quietly and successfully from the ground up for years, are suddenly trampled on by big name Western groups who think they know better. Did you know there are over 3000 NGOs in Cambodia? 3000, in a country just slightly larger than Tasmania! How many of them do you think are working on the exact same things; poverty reduction and livelihoods, children's education, human and sex trafficking, HIV/ AIDs, water and sanitation? What would happen if instead of spreading the donated aid and resources so thinly between 3000 different groups all competing for funding and staff and a backing by the big Donors to do the same work, they had networks of sharing, so that every province was covered by every area of development focus? Doesn't it make so much more sense? So why then does this occur? If we think about the needs of the poor, like really truly think about their needs, would we have such a divided and uncoordinated system? Where small local NGOs run by Khmers can only afford 4 staff while big international groups pay foreign staff western salaries with 5 digits? I don't think so. So why then do we? Because people don't observe. They don't take time to just look at what is already there, or research what gaps need to be filled. And because at the roots, even though our hearts want to give and serve and help, WE HAVE OUR OWN AGENDAS. How we think things should be done, which is in essence how we want things to be done to benefit ourselves in one way or another. Why do so many organisation focus on children? Is not everyone equally important? It is because stories about children sell, and boring policies about state health regulation don't, even though the latter may have direct benefits for the plight of the children in the first place, whilst benefiting everyone. Western governments at least advertise their prejudices publicly when giving foreign aid, openly choosing to aid only the nations physically closest to them or that may provide a threat to their security in future if the wars, poverty and diseases are not handled. Why can't we be more open too, particularly us missionaries and do-gooders? We are only human, and believe it or not, humans can relate to other humans when they are honest.

 What will it take for people to set aside some well-needed time and just watch. Observe. Do the research. Think. What is actually going on here. What is actually needed. What do they want us to do for them? What are my reasons for volunteering, for moving here, for helping out, all this? If you see a gap to fill, fill it. A special niche that has been left untouched? Explore it. But if the government or church or NGO is simply just not doing so well, don't come in guns ablazing all new and cashed up, placing your project right next door to overshadow the existing one! That is where the mission is! Help them to be better, support them! Pick up their pieces so they can pick up those of the poor. Become a funding body, a support network, arrange a partnership, train leaders. I really believe that if more mission-minded people took the time to think and observe properly, more money would be saved, more gaps would be filled, and more people would be truly helped, in a way that is more coordinated, more effective, less selfish, and more focused on genuine love.

Our latest video from Cambodia.