The Sounds of Cambodia

I think I'm going to start simply listing and describing a whole bunch of the things we see, hear, feel, taste and smell here in Cambodia. To try and give you a 'sense' of what it's like. Today, I will focus on sound, and am simply listing all the things I can hear right now, at home in our 'quiet' little neighbourhood...

• Angle grinders. Angle grinders everywhere, grinding metal. It's the worst sound of all.
• The ding-a-ling of the little bell of the man pulling his eski icecream cart
• Dogs barking. Always. 
• Street kids playing and yelling in Khmer. Mostly young boys. Something about a 'tomato'?
• Motos; little 50cc's putt-putting like they're half drowned, or 125cc's and bigger, revving and roaring up the road
• The rustling of plastic bags blowing across the streets
• A football being scuffed along the ground in the sand, bouncing off walls and crashing off metal gates
• The train and it's strange, loud, slow whistle/honk warning the people and motos to get off the track as it slowly, slowly rattles and chugs by
• Our budgies bickering and pecking at their bars
• The strange high-pitched whistle of the machine in the plastic factory down the road
• Aeroplanes flying directly overhead, low and deafening (The airport is just 3km away)
• The odd mosquito buzzes by
• Our land-lord gently pronouncing words in English to his young daughter as she slowly reads her English books to him
• "Pong tiet koun, kdaw kdaw, pi- moi poan pram, pi- moi poan pram". A street vendor with his cart selling 'very hot baby ducks (in the egg) 2 for 40cents'. It's on an automatic speaker loop
• The 3yr old girl next door is crying again, and I think that was a smack on the bottom
• Our pedestal fans whirring, one on each of us 
• Little tiny sparrows chirping and flitting about
• Horns honking, piddly little moto horns warning that they're coming round the blind corner. Or  the factory's big truck horns signalling they're heading off for Vietnam. Or the impatient honk honk honk HONK of the wealthy man in the car waiting for someone to open his gate
• Voices. Lots of people speaking Khmer, all around us. It's a very nasal language, and it carries
• Roosters crowing. I'd nearly forgotten about them they're just background noise now
• The sound of the banana tree leaves rustling in the breeze
• Kareoke. About 3 different kareoke machines at different houses all within the same street. Around 5pm they become very loud
• Next door's washing machine, pulsing and humming very low. Quite soothing actually
• A cat moaning and howling by our window late each night. Ben wants to skin it...
• The squeak squeak of the recycling lady pulling her cart of cardboard and cans, squeezing an empty detergent bottle fitted with a kid's squeaker
• Big trucks revving, revving to get up the slight incline and into the factory
• Kids yelling 'hello!' and 'barang?' (foreigner) through out gate
• The rice cooker flicking from 'cook' to 'warm'
• Our land-lady laughing her high pitched, cackling, contagious laugh. We always laugh at her laughing :)
• Little geckos on the wall yapping
• Banging. Always banging? Some kind of hammer against metal. Somewhere
• Ambulance sirens (There are 2 large hospitals nearby)
• Ben microwaving yesterday's curry at a medium to high hum

Time Flies When You're Out of Town

October was a pretty busy month for Ben and I, as we got stuck into our various jobs. We both had a week break during the Khmer festival Pchum Ben, where the Khmer people return to the villages to pay homage to their living relatives and pray and give offerings for their ancestors passed, begging the spirits to free their ancestors from hell during the 15 days the gates are opened and their 'ghosts' are allowed to roam the earth... (who said Buddhism was all yoga and meditation and pretty smells? It can be pretty frightening to the Khmer). Anyway, during this time I had a 5-day business trip to Jakarta for PD, which was the first time I left Cambodia in 9 months! It was a busy conference where I learned a lot about my new role supporting high schoolers as they go on to University or return to their passport countries. It may come as a surprise, but Indonesia felt surprisingly foreign, western and quite developed in comparison to Cambodia! 

When I returned, I was greeted at the airport by my Mum! A few hours later and my Dad showed up as well :) They were here for their own conference and to visit us of course. I was so happy to see them, 10 months had been the longest I have ever gone without seeing them. I visited them at their hotel, we did some errands together and went to the tourist markets, before they came back to our place to stay with us. Over the weekend we went to Chambok Eco-village a few hours out of Phnom Penh, where you can hike to visit the waterfalls, climb into caves full of tiny bats, ride ox-carts, go twitching (that's bird-watching to you Noobs) and at the end of the day spend the night at a homestay of the local villagers. We stayed with a wonderful lady named Sarun. She was now a widow who lived with her 2 cows, 3 pigs, 4 dogs and numerous children and grandchildren (one just 5 days old when we arrived) in a little wooden hut on a small plot of land with a backdrop of mountains and rice paddies. In the evenings we'd chat all in Khmer and I'd translate for our two families, learning all about them and their lives, and especially about rice! She taught me all the different types of rice she grows, when it's in season, when they harvest, which different foods you eat the different types with, which ones weren't such a good crop this year, and when we must come back to help harvest! Haha :) But yes, we had a lovely time out there away from the city, swimming in the falls, enjoying wonderful home-cooked meals by the Chambok women's group, getting soaked by rain riding "iron buffalos" which are the funny two-wheeled tractors that pull wooden carts. The Eco-village project is run by the villagers themselves, with women on rotation forming the 'restaurant', young people being forest guides and the people opening their homes to tourists at just $4 a night for a perfectly decent mattress and mossie net :) And most of the money goes directly to them, with the rest going into a pot for loans to help other families get set up to join the program. A worthy cause if you ever get the chance to go. To be honest I was quite anxious much of the time, but being with my family was the best medicine- even if Dad being the Royal Nong that he is sometimes fueled the fire haha (you'll get a glimpse of that in the video). He works very hard all the time and was a bit ill when he visited, yet still managed make an adventure of every minute. Love ya Dad. Mum stayed with us a few days longer after we got back, and she took me on multiple 'therapy' trips to nice coffee shops and markets where she spoiled me rotten (it was nice enough finding our washing done and dried and folded!) I still miss her, and hope I can see them both again soon :')

Time went really slowly for a while after that. I was quite homesick for several weeks (still am a bit!) but we got stuck back into work, and then suddenly it was November and the Water Festival break! In Cambodia this is different to Myanmar and Thailand where they have a giant water-throwing fight in April. No, in Cambodia it celebrates the changing of direction of the Mekong River, the only river in the world to do so. After the monsoon rains, the Mekong river and the Tonle Sap Lake fill up so that the overflow makes it change direction. Or something like that. Anyway, usually all of Cambodia comes to Phnom Penh for the Dragon boat races of hundreds of men on skinny boats paddling like mad downriver... but due to civil unrest lately and some horrific accidents in past events (such as a stampede where over 300 people died) the event was cancelled this year. For us, it didn't matter so much, for we were getting out of town. Over the weekend we attended the annual Logos/ Asian Hope Staff Retreat at Sihanoukville, a beach town about 5hrs drive from PP. My family and I used to go there a lot, but gosh the place had changed. The days were broken into a few group sessions and then free time, which we mostly spent with friends walking the beach or eating haha. Forget Khmer food (which we eat a reasonable amount of) Ben and I probably put on a few kilos with all the delicious western food we could get at that tourist town! However, early the second morning, the first time I took a dip in the sea nearly ruined the whole trip. As Ben was photographing me in the water at a secluded little bay in the forest, a Khmer boy snuck up behind Ben, grabbed my handbag and ran off with it. I watched it happen and yelled to Ben who took off after him. Thank God he dropped it because inside was my phone and wallet with over $100 and all my ID, bank cards, license you name it. My anxiety took over for a bit that day, as you might image, but by the afternoon we found ourselves trudging to the ocean in the flooded streets and pouring rain, completely soaked to the core, having a good laugh with friends. Believe it or not but the ocean was like a spa-bath after that, so lovely and warm! Anyway, Ben and I stayed on a little longer after the retreat, and moved to a different beach for a change of scenery. It was a nice few days of riding bicycles, swimming in the warm, shallow water and stuffing ourselves with beach BBQs. 

Now it'll once again be back to work- and my 24th birthday on Wednesday, gosh- for just a few more weeks and then it'll be Christmas. Where did all the time go?

Check out Ben's video to have a little sneak peak into these beautiful locations we visited- and maybe you'd like to come visit too! He's such a talented man!

Tragedy of the common (people)

"It's no problem for Cambodians".  A phrase which could apply to many things: wearing long-sleeves and pants in the afternoon, eating prohok like it's Nutella or driving a moto through a flooded street as if it were a boat.  I heard it today from a deck-hand on a glass-bottom boat when I was questioning why he was keeping 5-6 baby fish to eat.

Let me preface this by saying a few things: 1 - this man was not in poverty.  Working for a foreign-run business in a tourist area would be one of the better-paying jobs in this area.  Human life trumps the life of animals, so if all you can catch is baby fish, then by all means.  2 - these were varieties of cod, some of which grow in excess of 1m, and the smallest legal sizes for all but one species of cod in Western Australia is 30-40cm.  3 - these cod were about 6-10cm in length; literally babies.

Normally I'm a reserved person and don't directly question people about their actions, but in this instance I probed further:
Q - "Do you know that these fish will grow much bigger?"
A - "Here only little fish, big fish deeper in the ocean"
Q/statement - "In my country we have many bigger fish because we release the babies"
A - "It's no problem for Cambodians"

Which is exactly the point: in developing countries such as Cambodia, overfishing is one of the greatest threats to food security.  Not only is it a drastic problem for Cambodia, but for almost all fishery-dependent nation in the world.  According to the WWF, all but 15% of the world's fish stocks are fully exploited, over exploited, depleted or recovering from depletion, and at the current rate, all table-fish stocks are expected to collapse by 2048.

So, how do we create change?  If you know, please tell me, because the only idea that kept coming up in my head was to go full-greenpeace and tip out the bucket of baby cod (which I regrettably did not do).  But speaking to this man, I could see there was no understanding of the concept of "sustainable fishing".  The explanation for the observation of only baby fish being found was simply that the big fish are somewhere else, here there are only small fish, so I will eat these small fish.  Attempts to explain that these fish will grow bigger were futile, as was highlighting difference in fishing practices between our countries - "It's no problem for Cambodians".

Now I know what you're thinking - if this guy throws his fish back, the other fishermen are going to keep them, meaning he loses out, so of course if makes sense for him to keep keeping the baby fish.  However this situation mirrors the Prisoner's dilemma - if each fisherman acts in what seems to bring the greatest reward to themselves, both end up losing.  This is exactly what we've seen and continue to see around the world in instances beyond fishing.  To reap the greatest benefit for all parties, what's needed is cooperation - parties taking a lesser reward each, however the population benefits overall.

But how do we do that?  How can you convince someone to throw away a meal today to give a greater chance of a meal tomorrow?  It's so frustrating having these  conversations because skills such as reasoning, evidence-based practice and analysing observations are not at all emphasised in the Khmer school system, and even then, less than 50% of children finish high school.

Therefore, fostering these skills in the next generation of Cambodians is vital.  I am fortunate to play a small role in this, but I take it very seriously (not that my students would notice).  I believe it absolutely critical that future ministers, heads of industry and businesses are able to look at our world in all its complexity, balance and current turmoil and make informed decisions that will lead to the best outcomes.  But not the best outcomes for not only themselves, but make decisions that lead to the best outcomes for the flora and fauna, people of other race, social status or religion, and generations to come.

/rant

Where Do We Go From Here? [Ben and Ruth]

The past few months have been amazing; not in the sense that there wasn't any stress or anxiety (there still was/is), but amazing in that a random orange house in a semi-permanently flooded street, 5000km from Perth has been feeling like home. I never expected to feel this comfortable with our decision to move over here. Don't get me wrong - we haven't solved any of the problems: the language barrier is still there, we still have to fight to not get ripped off and every drive to somewhere more than 5 minutes away involves at least one close call. But instead of 100% of the problems being new problems which require new solutions (like it was when we first arrived), 90% of them are things I've handled before, allowing me to dedicate time and energy to the 10% (such as one of the kids outside now being armed with a BB-gun).

 So, where do we go from here? We've passed "survival" phase, and "coping" phase, so I guess we're now onto "enjoyment" phase.  I've started to be a bit more outgoing recently (instead of living in front of a screen), spending time after school playing soccer with students (do your homework) and going to the gym (which Ruth semi-hates, because I'm not with her :( ), although socially, I'm still a bit of a recluse (baby-steps). We've also started to have a regular date night (does it count as being social if you're hanging out with your wife?) on Friday evenings which has been surprisingly awesome - not that I didn't expect dating my wife to be awesome, but I had forgotten how nice it is to get out of the house and do something nice. Ruth and I always reminisce about taking the train into Perth on a Friday night in winter, with the cool rain and beautiful night sky, and now we have something like that over here (except the rain is sometimes warm, and the pollution dulls the view of the sky a little).
The guard is still up, though - living here will bite you in the backside if you become complacent, but for now, I'm enjoying it. Stay tuned for Ruth's post where she mentions all the things I forgot! (No new photos, so have these from our previous trip to Siem Reap)

Ruth: Aww, yes dating one's wife counts. What a sweetie. I am currently in Indonesia having been sent by Hope school for some PD training. It is both amazing and terrifying haha- I'm learning SO much about my new position and future possibilities, but travelling in another country alone again is very weird. I'd forgotten what it was like to be ripped off by taxis, hollered at by hawkers and lost in the maths conversions of millions (literally, millions) of foreign currency. However, my eyes have been wide open since I've landed. This part of Jakarta is such a contrast to what I've heard. It is so green and SO developed; there are trees everywhere, 5 lane highways and toll booths just for cars, chain stores and fast food, ginormous shopping centres, neon lights everywhere, sky-high apartments and even an IKEA! (and this is the suburbs!) Phnom Penh looks so dusty and small and chaotic and poor in comparison. And yes I've accidentally spoken to local Jakartians in Khmer, how embarrassing. But hey, we haven't left Cambodia since we first arrived, and this last 9 months has been the longest I have stayed in 1 country for 5 years so everything seems bigger and brighter and better. Anyway, this little trip has just reminded me that, despite Ben's ever-positive spin on how ok things are, when things are bad, they will not always be this way. There is life after this and there is still a world outside of Phnom Penh. Whether it be 2 or 10 years from now, we can leave when we like. And when we save up some money, we can travel! It no longer has to feel like the permanent 'this is it, this is our life now' like it has before. Hopefully that thought will invigorate me a little more when even just that 10% of problems gets me down.

One big tear-jerker up and coming is a visit from my parents, of who I am so desperate to see that I am already upset at the thought of them leaving before they've arrived! It'll be so lovely when they visit, but very, very hard to see them go. Having the support of family nearby is a luxury we haven't had for a while now, but it doesn't get easier. We love our parents! While I've been away Ben "rowul menten, koat riepchom phteah" has been very busy preparing the house, cooking and cleaning so they can stay with us in our little place for a week or two. What a seriously great guy! :D Really saves me having to do much when I come back (especially since i'm working the end of the holiday and over the weekend!). Yes, the holiday. Just before I left we had a few days off for Pchum Ben, a Khmer festival where people go home to the provinces and visit the 'Wat' (Pagodas), where they make offerings and ask blessings of the monks for the spirits of their deceased ancestors who are said to be 'released from the gates of hell' for 15 days. It's quite a dark tradition really, based on fear of being cursed by spirit-relatives if they are not prayed for their release from hell. Shudder. Anyway, as this time is a massive exodus of citizens from the city, Ben and I had a quiet 'staycation'. We did spoil ourselves to 1 night at an odd little getaway out of town, and spent the other 3 days relaxing at home, making our garden space more lovely, doing some art and catching up with some video-game fun ;)

Hopefully with a visit from my folks we can get out of the city once more and just have a lovely time with them while they're here. I wonder what they'll think of PP now, 12 years from when we first moved here....

Ps, The BB gun kid got you too Ben? (Ben: No, I was referring to the incident you describe)Whilst I was painting our gate, he would sneak his pistol through the gaps, fire at me, then ask in Khmer "Did I hurt you?" and if I said no, he'd shoot again and again until I said yes, you got me, to which he laughed maniacally. Sigh, little boys, it doesn't matter where they're from...

A Postal Address!

Due to my now working at Hope, the school is able to receive post on my behalf! This is both professionally and as a perk of being on staff. So if you would like to send Ben and myself a letter or a parcel, you are now able :) For letters and inexpensive items, use the PO Box address below. Be wary that it is unfortunately a normal circumstance for parcels to arrive anywhere between 3 days to 6 months, or sometimes not at all. Many parcels going through the national post service have a funny habit of being mysteriously late, going missing, or showing up with clear signs of tampering- I've had my underwear nicked once! Still, it's a risk we're willing for you to take :P haha.

For larger or more 'valuable' items, the school can now also accept DHL deliveries, but it might be best to contact me about that beforehand.

Anyway, here is the school postal address:

Ruth Devadoss

C/o Hope International School

PO Box 2521

Phnom Penh 3

Cambodia 12000

The street address of the school, if ever needed, is:

Hope International School

Phum Krang Angkrong 2, 

Sangkat Krang Thnong, Khan Sen Sok, 
Phnom Penh, Cambodia 12411

Bring on the millions of goodies that you've been dying to send us :P

"Summer Holidays" and New Beginnings

Well we can't believe it, but it's September now. The last 3 months since we've given an update have just flown by! In June and July, Ben and my school years ended and we had our 'summer' break, so we used the time to do some travelling around this beautiful country and see the real Cambodia. We had multiple visits from family and friends, went hiking in the jungle and caught up on our history of Angkor. In August I starting work at a new job at a somewhat familiar place; my old school stomping ground Hope International, where I am a guidance counsellor for the high schoolers. It is well into wet season now, and it rains daily meaning we've had our fair share of flooding! The rains have brought much needed cooler weather to Phnom Penh, and the fields all round the country are a lush green, filled with new rice and buffalo.  It has definately been a great time of discovery, revival and new beginnings for us both. Here's a little video to catch you up!

(and the budgies Luna and Juniper are singing away in the background, our little reminders of home!)

Falling Apart?

Some days, living in Cambodia is rough, and it's not necessarily from being here. It's just that when things do go wrong here, it seems worse. We don't have our old friends and family around to help us. There aren't the usual systems in place to work things out. The language barrier proves significant in trying to right wrongs, not to mention cultural differences. So when things go wrong, it us up to us to figure it out on our own. Us against the world. Like the time our moto broke down 32 times on a simple journey and 4 different mechanics didn't know what to do with it (but all wanted a little something for looking). Or when Ben lost his wedding ring and we searched over an hour outside in a  monsoon storm and never found it. Or the time the power went out when it was a swealtering evening and I was trying to work on something important, but it was only our house in the whole street that went out!?

These were all actually in the last few days. I'm a delicate person, prone to stress and anxiety especially since moving to Cambodia, but for each of these occasions I did ok. I held my head, and just got on with it.

But by the end of the week, a simple little thing caused me to break down. The sky was dark, rain was spitting. Ben sent me off to the street market to quickly buy some vegetables and deodorant before the rain came, and he went off to find some of his favourite fried potato snack a little lady sells from a plate she carries on her head. I approached a stall were a lady was selling cleaning and beauty products. I pointed to her deodorants and asked her which was the cheapest one. And that's where it went wrong. I don't know if she was offended that I, a 'wealthy white lady' (despite the only $2 in my hand, ruffled hair, mud up my legs and a plastic bag of veges just like everyone else in that place) would buy the cheapest product I could, or if she was just having a rough day herself, but she became quite harsh towards me. Her manner made me feel so small and she called out to other shop keepers and talked about me while I stood there. When I didn't understand her asking if I wanted a bag for that, she made fun of me that I didn't know what a plastic bag was. I realised and stuttered out in my worst Khmer 'khnyom ot cong plastik tong te, orkun'. She laughed at me loudly and I left.

It was just 5 minutes. In 5 minutes everything came crashing down- Was she mad at me? Did I offend her? Why was she mean? I can't understand her Khmer. My Khmer is so rubbish. I'm a bumbling fool. I'll never speak Khmer well. I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider, whiter than white no matter how hard I try. I always will be. What good is my being here. I never should have come.

Something little like that shouldn't have got to me. As a foreigner here we face things like that all the time, mostly from street kids whose Khmer is even more colloquial and full of slang I can't understand at all! I've always been stared at, talked about, from when I was 11yrs old and in this country the first time. But of all the little things that went wrong this week, why did that one affect me so much? A friend of mine here recently informed me of something called 'Bad Cambodia Days'. They're just days where things suck for no apparent reason. Every expat or missionary or foreigner living here has them. The trick for me is let them each be their own problem. To keep them a circle, a problem with a set of emotions and eventually a solution. Not, as Ben says, a spiral, where you get lost in your own head, thinking about them and all other related bad things that did or could happen, building up and accumulating into a big ugly breakdown waiting to happen (I'll neither confirm nor deny that one or many of those may or may not have occurred already) and not let them overshadow the bigger picture of our time here and reason for it.

So here is an article I found really comforting and drew some tears. It reminded me that life here can be tough, even for the foreigners, and that is ok. We are no longer in our home country and we will never really be part of the host country -we, along with thousands of other foreigners- are stuck somewhere in the middle of a 'third culture'. And whilst sometimes being part of that community is awesome, it comes with it's own set of disadvantages. Yet being able to fall apart occasionally, even over the tiniest thing, is something that we as expats or missionaries or whatever you like to call us, should be allowed to do openly, as a badge of honour for being moulded by both the harsh realities of this fallen world (that mind you, we see around us daily in these poverty stricken nations), and the untouchable and holy plans that the Almighty has for our lives; To strip us down and build us up again as perfectly his.

This article is taken from http://www.alifeoverseas.com/what-if-i-fall-apart-on-the-mission-field/

What If I Fall Apart on the Mission Field?

by ELIZABETH TROTTER on JUNE 29, 2014

They say that living overseas will bring out all our bad stuff. They say it like it’s a warning, like it’s supposed to scare us out of going. Like only a superhuman could go and survive.

And what if they’re right? What if moving overseas does bring out all our dark stuff, putting it on display for all to see? What if all the inner turmoil we kept so neatly concealed in our passport countries – or didn’t even know existed – starts falling out of our hearts, falling out of our mouths? What if it spills out into daily life, interfering with all the good works we’re supposed to be doing?

But — what if that’s not such a bad thing? I mean, what if it doesn’t end there, with you at the end of yourself? What if all the stuff that surfaces is supposed to surface? What if the only way to know what’s inside your heart is for it to come out? And what if the junk that needs to come out wouldn’t actually come out in your home country?

So maybe those multiple breakdowns have a purpose. Maybe knowing your weaknesses means you know God more intimately. Maybe you are exactly where He wants you to be, right at this moment. Maybe living overseas means becoming the person that God created you to be.

You followed Him across oceans and continents, across countries and cultures. You prepared for this for years, dreamedof it for longer. And all for what? Just to fall apart on arrival?

No, I don’t believe that. You followed Him this far for a purpose, because you love Him, and because He loves you. And now that you are where He wants you to be, He’s not going to leave you alone and without help. If God brought you to this place, don’t you think He will use cross-cultural living to shape you into the person He wants you to be?

When all our darkness reveals itself, God is right there beside us, waiting, ready to bring ever greater healing to our hearts. Through all this nasty falling-apartness, I believe God wants to heal the broken pieces of our lives. And living overseas might mean that we’re in just the right place to accept those healing changes.

So maybe they’re right. Maybe living overseas will draw out all our bad stuff. Maybe we won’t be able to hide it any more. But I no longer think that’s something to be afraid of — life with God is not something to fear.

So today, if you find yourself in that broken place, at the bottom of a mountain of messes in your life, have faith in the One who called you. Trust Him to put you back together again. Because falling apart is not the end of the story, but it just might be the beginning of a new one.

 -

A Harsh Open Letter to the Mission Minded

Ok folks, it's time to get real. This is going to be pretty harsh, I'm not going to lie. Perhaps some things are better left unsaid, but I think here in the real world, it's alright to share one's thoughts, particularly negative ones, for they can help us question and really think about our activities and current ways of doing things, particularly if the results of such are impacting on others' lives. This obviously has a background context to the developing world and those who are mission minded, but should include anyone in any context, towards any action. It's basically common sense.
I apologise if I step on any toes here, but perhaps it was intentional. I want to pull those strings. I want you to stop and think.

So where to begin?

Sigh. I am a selfish and sometimes negatively outspoken person. Oh yes. Very much so. Particularly in regards to developing countries and how we have a responsibility to aid them. I mean, I've spent the last 6 years of my life studying in that area. But, as I'm sure you know, there are two very special countries, two that are very dear to my heart, where my personal responsibility is a whole another story. Growing up in Myanmar and Cambodia, I have somehow become overprotective of them, thinking that they are 'My Cambodia' and 'My Myanmar'. It is not a good thing, oh no. Is it a TCK (third culture kid) thing? Undoubtedly. My years living there, inclusive of the amazing experiences and the pain and grief surrounding us while my family and host countries were seemingly isolated from the modern world, grew in me such a strong association and emotional bond with these places and their people. I feel as if I was raised by these countries, for them. It is as if I have given myself the role of defending these struggling developing nations against the world, and making sure they can develop in the best possible way. It is a fact that I've become incredibly cautious to 'the Western Threat'... not necessarily western ideology or technology, but from the do-gooders who have the right intentions, but who do not think deeply enough or observe the situation properly before they barge right on in. And I am 100% guilty of that.

This time around, I'm seeing it more clearly than ever before. Westerners, who come here and bring their ways of doing things; full of gusto and pre-planned agendas and 'Yes I'm gonna save Cambodia!'. I know. I've thought like this. We did this. We are this. When you pack up your whole life into a suitcase and head to such a destitute place, you have to think like this. You have to encourage yourself that you're not crazy, that that country needs you, and that there's a purpose much higher than your own. You're going to help. We've only lived in Phnom Penh for 4 months, so we're following this manual to a tee. But one thing we try to do is to acknowledge of our intentions and why we are really here. Yes, we've chosen His path, answered His call, we're living for God, and we've moved to this developing country to help the people: It's not about us. But in a way, it is. I know I am here for them, but I am also here for me. As closure for my mixed up, messed up TCK childhood. As a supporting wife to my husband (who was called this time not me) and as one testing the waters of her career as a budding development professional. We're here now so we can be somewhere else then, either in time or physical place. It's a shaping, moulding process that we're going through, not just for them, but for us and how He wants us to be. Unless we're all honest or take the time to really think about our 'do-gooder' attitudes and intentions, you're going to be impacting those lives around you in a much less helpful way than you believe. You'll be blind to your own ambitions, pre-conceived agendas and even the plans that He has for your life.

So that is the first step. Think. Think about yourself and your real reasons for wanting to go on that mission trip, for building that school, for planting that church. You can tell yourself you're doing a great deed for them, but guaranteed it'll benefit you more than it will them. These comforting words we tell ourselves so we don't feel guilty about spending the $2000 to go serve in Thailand for a week rather than just donating the money, need to be thought about out in the open before we are truly free to focus on others. It is OK to go for yourself, to learn about the world, to be exposed to poverty, to feel good about doing good as your follow in Jesus' footsteps the way he intended. Just do not hide that fact.

The second step is something that, now I've been here a while without being blind to my own intentions, I've had the most helpful experience one can get in relation to helping those around us: The opportunity to observe. To take in what is actually going on here in Cambodia. To see trends and patterns, see what is being done well and what is not. And what I have observed, and get my Cambodia-Myanmar-jealousy-defensive-armour on about, is the do-gooders. Sigh, the do-gooders. They come in many shapes and forms; volunteers, english teachers, church planting missionaries, NGO workers. One is even called Ruth. We are them. Yet there is an increasing pattern of activities that are being done by those with good intentions, that I think has a range of negative implications that could be easily avoided if more people were to stop and observe what is already in place.

An example. (And prepare for a rant). Did you know there are over 50 different churches in Phnom Penh listed on the first few pages of the Yellow Pages alone (I couldn't be bothered to keep counting), not to mention the dozens of their various plants across town and the hundreds of small home churches that Khmer's generally prefer to go to. Phnom Penh is not a large city. You can get from one end to the other in half an hour. These churches are widespread and are across a large number of denominations, even interdenominational, catering to just about anyone. And yet even now, more missionaries  come to add a plant of their particular church in this city, to put their organisation's name on it, to have their only slightly differentiating doctrines taught. Is that really what the Khmer people of this city need? There are already many churches here! Go out into the provinces, by all means. Go out and reach those who cannot be reached. Church planting out there in the poverty-stricken isolated corners of rural Cambodia is a different story. There is much need out there! But I cannot see the benefits of bringing in white pastors who use western metaphors and sing English songs when there are hundreds of pre-existing local churches that are held in Khmer, that teach according to Khmer customs, by Khmer pastors, for the Khmer people. Are there not parallels the former draws to old, colonial and now rightly criticised ways of thinking? Surely the latter makes more sense? If you are catering to the foreigners and expats in the city, fine. Say so. But do not show in your advertising material to your church back home that Phnom Penh is a desperate city unreached by Christianity! It is a desperate city, but not solely for that reason. If you want to grow the church, great! Consider partnering with the local Khmer churches, increasing their numbers, their outreach. They are already doing a fantastic job, with a fantastic response. What makes you think Phnom Penh needs another? You want to be needed? These local and provincial churches need support not competition.

I believe that this is the case with many things in developing countries, non-government NGOs included. So often the story goes that the local organisations that are in place, and have been working quietly and successfully from the ground up for years, are suddenly trampled on by big name Western groups who think they know better. Did you know there are over 3000 NGOs in Cambodia? 3000, in a country just slightly larger than Tasmania! How many of them do you think are working on the exact same things; poverty reduction and livelihoods, children's education, human and sex trafficking, HIV/ AIDs, water and sanitation? What would happen if instead of spreading the donated aid and resources so thinly between 3000 different groups all competing for funding and staff and a backing by the big Donors to do the same work, they had networks of sharing, so that every province was covered by every area of development focus? Doesn't it make so much more sense? So why then does this occur? If we think about the needs of the poor, like really truly think about their needs, would we have such a divided and uncoordinated system? Where small local NGOs run by Khmers can only afford 4 staff while big international groups pay foreign staff western salaries with 5 digits? I don't think so. So why then do we? Because people don't observe. They don't take time to just look at what is already there, or research what gaps need to be filled. And because at the roots, even though our hearts want to give and serve and help, WE HAVE OUR OWN AGENDAS. How we think things should be done, which is in essence how we want things to be done to benefit ourselves in one way or another. Why do so many organisation focus on children? Is not everyone equally important? It is because stories about children sell, and boring policies about state health regulation don't, even though the latter may have direct benefits for the plight of the children in the first place, whilst benefiting everyone. Western governments at least advertise their prejudices publicly when giving foreign aid, openly choosing to aid only the nations physically closest to them or that may provide a threat to their security in future if the wars, poverty and diseases are not handled. Why can't we be more open too, particularly us missionaries and do-gooders? We are only human, and believe it or not, humans can relate to other humans when they are honest.

 What will it take for people to set aside some well-needed time and just watch. Observe. Do the research. Think. What is actually going on here. What is actually needed. What do they want us to do for them? What are my reasons for volunteering, for moving here, for helping out, all this? If you see a gap to fill, fill it. A special niche that has been left untouched? Explore it. But if the government or church or NGO is simply just not doing so well, don't come in guns ablazing all new and cashed up, placing your project right next door to overshadow the existing one! That is where the mission is! Help them to be better, support them! Pick up their pieces so they can pick up those of the poor. Become a funding body, a support network, arrange a partnership, train leaders. I really believe that if more mission-minded people took the time to think and observe properly, more money would be saved, more gaps would be filled, and more people would be truly helped, in a way that is more coordinated, more effective, less selfish, and more focused on genuine love.

Our latest video from Cambodia.

Time is free, by Ben

I have a habit that I've kept up since being in Cambodia; I'll almost always guess what the time is before checking (or asking Ruth).  I want to know if I've "spent" the time well, or to see if my balance of time is enough for what I want to accomplish in a day.  Played music, finished the shopping and cleaned the house before 11am on a Saturday?  Awesome, plenty of time left in the day.  Got back from work, rested a bit, cooked dinner, did some marking (Americans - grading) and it's 9pm?  Darn.

Many of you would do similar - we are always aware of time passing and evaluating whether our current use of time is indeed the best.  Events such as getting stuck in traffic or queuing behind a person in the checkout line who appears to be purchasing one of everything in the entire store leave us thinking "what a waste of time", or "I could be doing x, y and z right now!"  Even positive experiences such as being able to go home early from work, or being released from family responsibilities make us aware of how much "free time" we have, which we will undoubtedly regret wasting when it is finished.

I don't know if it comes from our busy lives, or from our awareness of lost earning potential (If I earn $30 an hour and I'm stuck in traffic for 30 minutes, I've essentially lost $15!), but back in Australia, time was a daily resource that was either used or wasted.

This view of time appears to be completely contrary to what we observe in Cambodia.

Be mindful that this is my own opinion and may not be the case for all (or any) Cambodian people, but it is one way to explain the relaxed pace with which many people live their lives, or the relatively high tolerance to interruptions resulting in loss of time (traffic, lateness, break-downs).  Motodups and tuk-tuk drivers will wait on the corner for what may be hours, eating and occasionally resting in their tuk-tuks until a fare comes around.  Shop owners sit in empty stalls waiting for customers, placing down their bowl of noodle-soup or pausing the video on their phones for a few minutes before returning.  But a lot of this is accompanied with the sounds of talking and laughter while they pass the time with those in similar circumstances.

What is it that lets these people, who are not earning anywhere near a good wage (see Ruth's earlier post), have families to feed and their own aspirations/dreams, have such a seemingly positive attitude to the passing of time?  Is it that they are so grateful for the opportunity to earn that they don't mind the hours passing?  Are they so thankful that Cambodia isn't where it was just 40 years ago when the Khmer Rouge began the massacre of 20% of the population?  Or is it that their wage is so low that lost earning potential, or the realistic fulfillment of their dreams doesn't even factor in?

I don't know.

Is this something that we need more of in the West?  Maybe.  Or is our budgeting of time a natural consequence of the wealth and opportunity that presents us with so much potential?

All I know is that it seems to confer resilience to the day to day events which make up life here in Phnom Penh, be it the aforementioned breakdowns and late tuk-tuk drivers, or being stuck on a 5 hour bus ride to cover 170km.  And when that's us on the 5 hour bus ride to Kep, we could do with some of that resilience.

Cost of Living in the Penh

When making dinner tonight I was thinking about the different costs associated with cooking here than with cooking back in Australia, and I decided to give you a little glimpse into the overall costs of living here in Phnom Penh. I'm all about Budget Transparency, particularly when we have a few incredibly generous people back home supporting us to be here.

Ben and I are currently living on his teacher allowance of $840 per month, which covers all expenses from rent and transport to food. For him that equates to $5 an hour! This is just an eighth of what he earned in Australia, but this hourly rate is more than what many poor Khmer here earn in a day. In fact, the average income in Cambodia is only $950 a year! So even in a developing country so 'affordable' as Cambodia, where the following items below may seem incredibly cheap in comparison to the West, with many people only on funds like this it is so easy to understand how poverty can be so crippling, and lead to issues of debt, prostitution, human trafficking, alcoholism and gambling: there is no social security here and no safety nets. Even we who are in a situation far better than the majority of Khmer have little wiggle room and are unable to save much. I have every intention of finding work as soon as possible to help Ben out in supporting our lives here.

So here is a little breakdown of our common expenses. (Although we mostly pay in the local currency of Riel, everything here is in $USD).

Food:

• Small bag of vegetables: $0.75 Vegetables here are bought on a daily basis in small quantities because many Khmer do not have a fridge or means of keeping them fresh. We do have a fridge but I enjoy trips to the market and practicing my Khmer. My usual purchase is a single carrot, potato, bokchoi-like leafy greens tied up with an elastic band, and occasionally some limes, a tomato or a cauliflower. The most i've ever spent on vegetables was probably $1.20, and that included a rare red capcicum. The ladies always throw in a chili or two and a bunch of spring onions to 'round up' the kilo.
• 1 kg of rice: $0.60 There is plenty of rice around here, of numerous varieties. A little man just scoops handfuls of it into a plastic bag and off we go. 
• 350 g of chicken: $1.90 We're not yet sold on buying the whole chickens that hang by their necks from the meat stalls, so when we buy meat (maybe once a week?) we get it from our local supermarket, packaged in a similar way to back home. 
• 1 kg of mangoes: $1.25 That's usually about 3 large ripe hunks of deliciousness, bargain.
• 1 ltr of milk: $2 Yep, milk here is one of those things that is not as cheap as Australia. We buy UHT milk in bulk; 12 cartons for $24. The brand is called "Cow head" which is apparently from Australia? 
• 1 kg of cheese: $35 I don't really know what to say about this. I love my cheese, and this expense is just agonising. We bought 500g of it a few months ago and have been savouring it sliver by sliver since then to make it last, occasionally on a biscuit or atop some pasta. It is beginning to go mouldy but it is so precious I just slice off the mould and it is as good as new! My beloved cheese....
• Sliced bread: $1 It's not bad. It's not great. It has a sweet, coco-nutty sort of flavour that you kind of just get used to, but when heating it on the pan to make toast the sugar crystalises -.- 
• A Khmer meal out: $2-$4 total. This is our favourite option (because it's CHEAP). There are a few places we go out to around our house. Sometimes we bring back some BBQ skewers from the street vendor-man on the corner to eat with rice at home, sometimes we go to a little 'Milk Tea Cafe' that makes some tasty fried noodles for about $1.50 each, and sometimes we even go to the food court at our nearest shopping centre (just a 10min walk away) and enjoy a local curry or fried rice and traditional beef accompanied by a fruit shake or sweet-ice desert. These options are definitely easier than trying to cook meals in the 37 degree heat, so we tend to do this on the weekends or once or twice during the week. 
• A Western meal out: $5-10 total. Although this is still really cheap for good, good food, we very rarely do this, and when we do it is a very special treat. Maybe once or twice a month, when I am having a craving for a pastry, burger, pizza or just anything other than rice. There are sooo many options for food downtown, such as Western, Indian, Mexican, Arabic, Thai, Chinese, Korean etc etc, but it is just too expensive and time consuming for us to go out there. Maybe in the future when I have paid work and we can afford it, we will be able to go out a bit more and experience the culinary delights of what is in reality still very cheap food.  

*We only go to supermarkets once every week or so, and only to buy the items we cannot get at the street markets such as bread, milk, cereal, snacks, good meat etc. Supermarket food, particularly anything imported, is very expensive in comparison. Eg. a small 350g box of basic cereal will put you back $5-7; the cost of 3 Khmer meals out!

Transport:

• Moto-ride to Language School: $3 a day. I've become very fond of my Pu (Khmer Uncle) who takes me to school and back everyday. He speaks zero english (that's a lie, he can now say 'thankyou' haha) so we can only communicate in Khmer. I do quite well, we have little conversations about our families and the weather, and I sometimes give him a phone call if i'd like to go anywhere (yes, I can even hold a basic phone conversation in Khmer, that makes me happy). The trip to school is about 20min each way depending on traffic, is bumpy and dusty and oh so hot as I am exposed to the elements sitting on the back of his moto. But it is never a dull ride as this city is just brimming with activity 24/7!
• Our Motorbike: $300 total. An AMAZING deal from a friend, it is a little red Suzuki Step (125cc) that we adore. Ben will ride it to school a few times a week over his bicycle when he has late meetings and things, but we mostly take it out together on weekends to go into town or to run errands like grocery shopping. It is a bit old and dirty but we keep it that way so that noone wants to steal it!
• 1 ltr of petrol: $1 This is a great price, or at least is for our moto. We only top it up with a dollar once every week or so and it only takes 3 litres so this expense is almost negligible. 
• Tuk tuk ride into Town: $4 one way. This was the main reason we bought our moto in the first place, it was just too much to pay to go anywhere. We don't really have this cost anymore, unless we are going someplace far or at night, or cannot take our moto. 

Housing:

• Rent: $280 per month. We live on the ground floor of a villa rather than a traditional Phteah Lvang (Skinny house) or apartment, and have a lovely little 2 bedroom 2 bathroom place. The rent is very reasonable for us, and is quite low for foreigners in Phnom Penh because we live on the outskirts of town, far from most of the city. We also furnished it ourselves. 
• Electricity Bill: $15 per month. Ok so this is BEFORE air-conditioning which we just started using this month because temperature have begun consistently reaching the high 30s. We're not at all sure how using the air-conditioning will jack up the cost, but we've agreed that for 4 hours at night at least, it is a necessity. 
• Internet: $12 per month. It included installation, a modem, is unlimited downloads, never slow, and Ben think's it is better than what we had in Australia. He's VERY happy. 
• Water Bill: $7 per month.  I think it is actually per 2 months, but we haven't seen one for a while so not sure!
• Garbage collection: $1 per month. This consists of a big stinking truck with men in masks pulling up next to a pile of rubbish on the street, scooping it up by hand with shovels and flattening rats into pancakes in the road. They do a hell-of-a job. 

Extras:

• Language School: $400 per Module. Each Level is approx. 5 weeks long. At this stage I will probably only complete the first 2 Levels. The school was generous enough to give us a 10% discount (was $450 per unit), and they're lenient with us to let me pay it off $50 each week. 
• Weekend trip to Kep: $120. Next week is Khmer New Year, and to celebrate our time in Cambodia and finally explore this country a little with our time off, we're going to a small town by the sea for a few days over the weekend. This is an approximate cost inclusive of transport there and back for 2 people, 3 nights accommodation and food. 
• Health Insurance: $1200 a year. This one's a biggie. Luckily Ben gets his included with his teaching job, but mine we must cover. It's a big bite out of our savings back home, and thank goodness we have amazing families who help us with this. Better safe than sorry though, amen. 

So there you have it, some of the costs for things I can think of for now! I remember how these prices compare to Australia and seem really cheap, but when the average wage around here is just $80 a month, it's all relative....

*If you'd like to support the Devadosses finacially, please send them an email at bendevadoss@hotmail.com or rutha.devadoss@gmail.com, or see their Australian bank details on the side column of their blog.

Still Alive, even Renewed

So the past three weeks have kind of flown by.  Hence the lack of an update.  I guess we're starting to feel a real sense of normality about life here.  We've both found our routines; Ruth with Khmer school and me at Logos, and the day to day is now seemingly ordinary.
(Ruth: I wouldn't say flown by exactly. Life has happened, as you would expect, and sometimes it is more challenging than others. Ben forgets quickly the tricky little things like living on the diminished leftovers of last month's paycheck and having to move across Australian money to pay for things. Or like someone leaving the key in the moto while we're out of town and hoping and praying that someone can pick it up for us before it gets stolen.... Every day's events here are completely different to back home, and, while I may be able to settle, I for one don't think i'll ever feel like things here are normal haha!)

There are two sides to our now ordinary days; on one hand, stress levels have begun to drop (at least for myself) as we are now visiting new places less frequently, we know where to eat out and have even identified a few foods that we can make at home regularly with easy to find ingredients.  The endless list of "things we need" has now pretty much ended (again, at least for myself) and our everyday schedule is relatively unsurprising.
(Ruth: This coming from the man who forgets his toothbrush and has to use mine, and who doesn't do most of the cooking so is perplexed by the seemingly strange desires for utensils such as a strainer, measuring cups or so help me an oven haha. Ben is right that we can survive only on what we need, as do the majority of Khmers around us. But in a place such as this, doing work that is all about seeing the poverty and afflictions around us and building up and helping others in need, we must survive well.  I am unashamed that for me, this does translate to my 'needing' western comfort food like a packet of chocolate biscuits or a slice of toast with vegemite once in a while.)

On the other hand, however, I feel like we're forgetting to appreciate where we are, and are now able to hide inside our comfortable bubble that we've blown here in Phnom Penh.  This translates to fewer outings and few chances to soak in the culture. I'm very glad, then, that we were able to go on a retreat with students from Logos to Kampot and Kep, two holiday spots a couple of hours out of town.  This popped the bubble, giving us a fresh opportunity to talk about Cambodia with students, and experience a new place as a tourist.  By that, I mean you make the most of the opportunities that you have.  I also had a chance to lead a devotion about sustainability and stewardship in Cambodia, something that's all too apparent when you see a beautiful river nearly devoid of life, and a beautiful landscape marred by mining and deforestation.
(Ruth: Agreed, it completely changed my perspective on life to get out of Phnom Penh for those 3 days. I hadn't seen countryside Cambodia in 10 years, and it was both familiar, chaotic and refreshing. From the long and slightly terrifying bus-ride on the dusty moto-filled roads, to the kayaking in a cool watery glade, we got to see what life was like outside the bustling polluted city. We had just a few hours in Kep for an afternoon hike in a mountainous jungle by the sea, so Ben and I hope to go back for a proper explore in April for Khmer New Year.)

Returning to Phnom Penh I feel like I'm ready to soak in more; like I was when I first arrived 2 months ago.  We're back to our regular walks to the market, the camera has been dusted off, I'm learning a bit more Khmer from Ruth, and I'm here, updating the blog.
(Ruth: And I am here, adding my part while Ben plays sqeaky disney songs on his Khmer violin/ 'drou'. Sigh. Some things don't change haha. But I do feel the same way about life in Phnom Penh now. It's like we've gotten a second chance to do it over, see it all again afresh but this time without the homesickness or the stress. I have my first Khmer assessment tomorrow and then will go on to begin Level 2 on Thursday, thanks to some very kind and generous donors who are sponsoring my Khmer tuition. We are incredibly grateful, and even my broken conversation on the phone with a Khmer today proved to me that it is well paying off. As for the rest of the day, 'normality' ensues; we must hang out the washing that we are both hoping the other will do, and clean up the front yard from the mess that the surprise-rain from last night created (It was fantastic, the rain was cool and breezy and broke the dry and dusty spell. I even made friends with a frog who took a liking to my head). Then, we shall head off for evening church into the hazy Phnom Penh sunset on our little moto. What a life.)

Khmer Practice with Ben!

After last week's introductory video, I thought I would record another in a more conversational style with Ben. He hasn't learnt much Khmer formally but is doing really well to understand what is being said. We haven't quite got up to this topic in lanugage class yet either (that will be next week, I jumped ahead!) but most of the following is what we've just picked up from going to the markets and in our daily activities. Khmer speakers will realise that a lot in there is probably wrong haha, I realised myself that my opening line 'Nih sapeda' (meaning 'this week') should actually be 'Sapeda nih' ('week this'), and the correct word for general food is 'mhoap'. I think 'nom' is snacks? Not sure. I do struggle a bit with the orders of how the words should go, what are the differences between different words of similar meaning, and even just trying to remember the different phrases. I know that most of that will come in time. It's only been 2 weeks of learning! Anyway, enjoy a small glimpse of our market-talk :)

Khmer Practice

Hi all, I was practicing my Khmer and thought I'd share some of the basics with you. It's a pretty easy language to learn grammar wise, for there are not really any tenses or particles. You can literally say "I go market" and it doesn't require an "I am going to..."  or "I will go to the". (It's really helped me see how complicated English is! Pity the Khmer who must learn our impossible language!) Phonetically, I've long been exposed to the nasal sounds that are made in these SE Asian languages, and can hear subtle differences reasonably well, such as between 'n' and 'ng' and 'ny' that many 'barangs' cannot hear? Anyway, I really hope I can continue learning so I can have real conversations with people! Not being able to communicate properly is truly one of the hardest parts about being here!

So here goes, a rough, one-week-of-formal-learning introduction. Enjoy!

Impressions- Home, Work and Play

I'd really like to be able to give people at home a good picture of what it is that we see here in Cambodia in our day to day. So here's some more impressions of things both physical and cultural...

Home- Housing differs greatly from the thatched cottages-on-stilts of the rural regions to the cement-city that is Phnom Penh, as would be expected. Yet within our neighbourhood itself there is a staggering differentiation between how people live. The majority of people in Phnom Penh live in p'teah l'vangs, tall skinny 2-3 story buildings with up to 4 bedrooms (often housing a whole extended family). They only seem to come in one layout and are all identical on the inside (and the outside, save for the garish paint-colour schemes). Yet our neighbourhood, on the outer part of town in Sangkat Teuk Thla, has very few of these apartment-like houses. Instead, there is a strong contrast of very rich and very poor. Ben and I live in one of the 'rich' houses, a villa. Luckily, ours is the smallest around (also the brightest, being fluoro orange) and we only have half of it- another family will soon rent the rest- so we do not feel too bad. But some of these villas are full-on-mind-blowing mansions. They average at 3 stories high, must have around 10 rooms or more (too many for even a Khmer extended-extended family), spiraling staircases and massive glittering chandeliers positioned in giant windows for all the world to see. Most have giant tacky Romanesque columns (the more the merrier) that hold no structural value, and lavishly embellished front gates that make those of Buckingham Palace itself look cheap.

I have not seen homes like this even on the millionaire river-front back home in Perth. And then, right next door, will be an old, black-stained and falling apart building that has a deep dark corridor. And either side of that deep dark corridor is lined with single rooms where entire families live, often 10-12 families on one floor alone. Imagine a family of six all living in one small room? These little 'communes' are scattered all around our neighbourhood, and each one may have a sole water supply and bathroom area that each of the 10-12 families share. Because of the limited space inside the one-room homes, the families spend their evenings outside on plastic mats and little stools, using the street as an extension of their homes.

*I'm still figuring out how to get to grips with such a contrast. How can the rich be SO rich and happily build such disgustingly-excessive palaces next to their impoverished neighbours, without batting an eyelid? What do the poor think? Are they settled with the idea and content in Buddhism that this is just the way the world works, and perhaps they will have the mansion in their next life? Perhaps it is better this way, to have the rich and poor in the same vicinity so there is at least a forced acknowledgement of the economic differences, rather than segregation and ignorance?

Work- The Khmer idea of work is also very different to our own. Work in Cambodia is a necessity only, and that is very obvious from the faces of the hundreds of women we see trudging down the market street around 6pm every evening on their way back from the garment factories. Very few Khmers work in the area that they want to or enjoy, but work long hard hours for a small wage and in often very poor conditions, purely because that's the best they can get. Men typically have very hands-on jobs like the 'kamekorsomnog', who spend the day high on top of rickety bamboo scaffolding in construction, or in factories mass-producing plastic goods. Others are moto mechanics, own little restaurants or stores, or travel around selling shelfish or collecting recycling from little carts by the side of the road. Women have quite different jobs to the men. As mentioned, thousands of women across Cambodia work in the sweat-shop garment factories, sometimes sitting for 12 hours a day or more behind a sewing machine in a large warehouse on the outskirts of town.

Women also are the primary vendors in markets; selling clothes, shoes, dry goods, homewares and fruit, vegetables and meat. Many women in our neighbourhood are 'mei p'teah', or housewives, and by goodness does that word mean something here. They often have 4-5 children who are snotty and dirty from playing in the piles of sand or rubbish on the side of the road. The women are the first to wake up, they head to the market to buy the day's fresh food (there are no fridges so no food can be kept) and then spend the day preparing it with mortar and pestle until they have wonderful smelling concoctions of spices ready to cover their meager meals of dried fish and rice. Doing the washing alone is tough work- we currently do not have a washing machine so I am doing it all by hand Khmer style; squatting on a wet floor with a tub of cold soapy water and a brush, and that's it.

 

(Please excuse these terrible photos, it was first thing in the morning). By the end, my hands are wrinkly and red from the scrubbing and the rinsing and the wringing. To do this daily for a family of 6 would take it out of me!

Play- While the Khmer's often work very hard during the day (apart from the hour or so midday when everyone seems to be awol- breaking for lunch or snoozing on the back of their tuk tuk), one thing they do very well is to NOT work when they are not at work. Work does not come home with them. It is very clear that one works when at work, and one plays when at home (well, apart from the women who do their never ending work at home). The Khmer love their games, and especially around Chinese New Year; their gambling! There is a family (or three, it's hard to tell) who live down the road who are always -every evening after dark- playing cards and having a hoot. It makes me nervous to see them throw down the thousands of riel, knowing that the 25 cent notes still mean a decent amount to them, but if it is amongst their friends and helps them get through it all then why not. They certainly have fun doing it. Another past time is volleyball. There is a court- well, it's a large patch of dirt that has two old broken nets strung haphazardly across it- just around the corner from us, and every evening from around 4.30-7pm there are games on!

The young men hoist up their pants and take off their shirts and really get into the volleyball. It may even be a different game as they seem to use their feet and heads and any body part they can to hit the ball over the net. The whole neighbourhood comes out to watch. Other popular after-work past times include playing football in the street, snooker at some dark shed full of pool tables, plenty of beer and few women, and 'tv houses'. From what i've seen, these are primarily used in both the mornings and evenings. They are essentially open sheds with a big tv and lots of rows of chairs, and as many folks around here do not own a telly, they come to these quaint cinemas to watch their Khmer soaps (or horror films) and enjoy an well-earned ice coffee.

Don't do, Just be.

With my facebook filling up with photos of my friends' graduations, I should announce that mine came too! I've got the shiny pieces of paper that are my degrees! (Well, scanned photos of the shiny pieces of paper- email was the safer option, it's too risky to send them in the mail, but thanks mum!)

I am little sad that I didn't get to attend a formal ceremony, or experience the long boring speeches of Deans I never met, but mostly sad i'm missing out on wearing the sophisticated robes and funky hat of a distinguished Murdoch University Alumni. But graduating in Cambodia is much more interesting........ isn't it?

My life goal for the last 5 years has been get into Uni, study community development, earn my degrees and head overseas to start saving the world. Well, check, check, check. I've checked all the boxes. I did it. I'm now here in Cambodia; developing country 101, a nation haunted by it's history of war and genocide, famine and poverty. There are over 450 NGOs here all dealing with Cambodia's numerous and wicked problems like food insecurity, poor health and sanitation (resulting in Malaria, consumption, malnutrition etc), education and youth empowerment, human and sex trafficking, environmental degradation and deforestation. Surely, somewhere in there is a space for me? All I have ever wanted is to help out and give back to this country that moved me so deeply as an 11 year old. But now that i'm here, I'm finding that I really am like every other fresh-out-of-Uni graduate; a small fish in a very big (and polluted!) pond. I'm pretty sure everyone has gone through this phase in their life. What happens next? The struggles of finding work and figuring out my purpose are real now. Was it a bad idea moving to Phnom Penh before we knew what would be there for me? Am I even ready? My first few weeks here, I really battled with these questions. Becoming and adult and finding full time work is scary enough in a first world country, let alone a third world one. If I do find work, I will likely be earning a Khmer wage (around $300-500 a month) with no superannuation, formal leave accumulation or any of the other protections we sometimes take for granted in Australia. At least development work is meaningful, right?

Over the last few days, I've been feeling more and more that maybe God's plan for me right now isn't to work straight away. Maybe I'm not here to 'do' right now. Maybe I'm here to 'be'. The longer I am here, the more I am realising that I have a lot to learn about this country- it's problems, it's culture, it's people- and that maybe i've been given this time to learn it.

Taking the language classes has really helped cement this thought. I've completed my first full week! Class runs from 8.30am-noon, and is 3 hours of vocabulary, conversation and phonetics! (It's quite tricky actually, having to learn IPA as well as Khmer is like learning 2 languages!). It's a great school with two lovely teachers and fun classmates (there are 10 of us).

It's early in the game, but I think I will do well. We had only planned (and budgeted) for me to do Level 1, but most of the other students are going to do the full year through. They say Khmer is one of those languages that you CAN become fluent in after just one year of study. I am quite jealous of my classmates' time and funds- how i'd love to be able to hold proper conversations with the Khmer in their own language! It would also be a huge bonus for my work. Oh well, we'll just have to see how we go, and maybe scrape enough savings to do another level.

Studying for just the first half of the day gives me time where I can actually just 'be'. It's a learning process in itself, to not worry about what i'm meant to 'do' here, but I've decided to intentionally take an "absorbtionist approach" (yes I did just make that up) and try to experience and really get a feel for 'life' here in Cambodia.

So far this has meant afternoon walks to the market, the train-line (it's very picturesque) and around our neighbourhood every day, just to explore and get the locals familiar with having two 'barangs' frequenting their streets and lives. I've picked up drawing and painting local images like Wats and motos and fishing boats, while Ben is really improving on his photography. (You can see his work at https://www.flickr.com/photos/pandaprofile/). I'm also starting to pay attention to Khmer-style cooking and am experimenting with the fresh goodies I find in the market around the corner. Just last night, I made a delicious Tom Ka Gai soup and Fried Rice all from scratch. They were some of the best dishes I'd ever cooked, and not because I'm amazing (I didn't follow a recipe so they could have gone to pot) but because the ingredients are so real and fresh and perfect!

I was so exited when I discovered a little lady who sells crushed lemongrass- and threw in some galangal root, chilis and kaffir lime leaves- all for just 25cents!!! 

In the evenings, I've been pulling up my little plastic stool with our next door neighbours who sit outside the little dried-goods corner shop they own. They're great, I just pop round there for some salt or noodles or an extra egg when I run out! Anyway, they speak no English and I like to practice my Khmer with them. Yes, they find it hilarious. I show them my 'kekap'teah' (homework) and try interviewing them. It's very interesting to find out about people with the limited Khmer that I have. For example, the eldest woman, my 'om srey' (because she is older than my mother) came to Phnom Penh from the furthest of the provinces near Thailand, and was married at just 14 years old! They also help me learn what different items in their shop are called. I talk to our landlord's family for more complex topics, for they speak a little English and can help answer my questions about the grammer or when to use which words (such as addressing people, I remember mum talking about how tricky it is trying to guess someone's age and give them the proper title accordingly!). Our landlord's family are such a kind people- why, just yesterday I went outside to water the plants to discover there was an extra orchid hanging there! Turns out they'd gone and bought us another, just because. So lovely.

It may sound awfully artsy-fartsy, but I really think that the more I learn about these small things like shopping, interacting with our neighbours or cooking, the better grasp I will get on the Khmer culture and language, that will help set me up proper for when it IS time to 'do'.

I can fly!

Not really, but this week has been a good one and has left me feeling much more free. As time goes by we are needing to devote less and less time to things such as purchasing furniture or plates, and instead we are able to relax a bit more and just explore a little around our area, saying "hello" to many of the kids and adults around the neighborhood.

Earlier this week we were looking for a printing company so I could print a few of my photos to decorate the house (photo printing is MUCH cheaper here than in Australia), a trip which lead us to Opennet - one of the internet retailers in Phnom Penh. It's important to note that home phone and internet is not at all common here, and many houses are built without any phone lines (including ours). So, how do you get wired home internet when you don't have a phone line? 3 men, a tuk tuk, a ladder and a roll of cable.

Seriously. They were waiting outside the gate when I got home (Ruth was inside, but they didn't ring the bell). After a brief discussion about where the modem would go (i.e. where the cable needed to go) they left, saying that they would be "back with the internet" (I may be paraphrasing). So off they went to run a few hundred metres of cable to the house. I finally understand a bit about why the power poles are in such a mess - the lines aren't laid down initially, with houses being connected to pre-existing wires as they are built. Instead, EVERY single house that connects to the internet or power receives a new line, which just goes on top of every other line.

Long story short - we now have stable internet in the house and I can watch Youtube and access my online library of games!

We have also been social this week - on Wednesday we went out for dinner with some teachers from the school at a tiny Chinese restaurant with awesome noodle soup and fried dumplings, coming to about $3 each. Actually getting there on a tuk tuk cost about the same -_-

Which brings me on to the latest development - we have a moto! Well, not 100% yet. My friend who helped us out with the furniture and fridge has allowed us to use her family's moto for the week, and if we're OK with it, they'll let us buy it for a great price! So this evening we rode around a bit and to dinner with some more friends from school, with wonderful food and a game of fishbowl. Moving to this new place together has definitely given us more confidence to go out and socialise as a couple, instead of one-by-one like we had to do in Hedland. It was also exciting riding around on the near-empty road (due to Chinese New Year) at night with Ruth on the back.

To see more photos from the internet saga and just general life, including a small adventure today, check out the album below (click here to view all photos from Phnom Penh)